Beautiful smiles hide the darkest secrets
by MaryBellNorman
Summary: When Hange gets a new assistant, Levi takes an interest in her. An intelligent soldier who seems to bring joy everywhere she goes, it annoys him. But when he decides to recruit her into his squad, he realizes that everything she does and says, it nothing but a facade...
1. Chapter 1

_**This is a fairly AU fanfiction. Not totally, however I don't know how to fit it chronologically fit it in. I hope you guys like it!**_

* * *

"Captain Levi." Commander Erwin walked into Levi's office. He glanced up at him for a moment. "I came to give you this." he handed a manila envelope to Levi who took it carefully. "This is a young woman who is going to be joining you here. Her name is Arabella Duluth. She is going to assist Hange, however I believe she might be better suited for the Special Operations Squad." he said and Levi looked through the contents of the envelope.  
"Then why not just assign her to my squad?" he asked simply.  
Erwin shook his head. "I gave you my full trust in allowing you to hand-pick all of your recruits." he replied, watching him before looking at the file. She was cute. Long blond hair and dark brown eyes, a smile on her face in the picture. She showed excellent strength in speed, using the 3DMG, hand-to-hand combat, however it was noted that loud noises frightened her and she rarely spoke. "She was from a small hunting village, it was one of the few cults inside Wall Maria. Not much else is known except that none of her family survived the fire that broke out 13 years ago." he said and Levi nodded.

Erwin turned to take his leave. "She will be arriving in ten minutes. So, if you have any questions for her, I would get them ready." he said as he walked out.  
"Tch." he looked at the file for a moment before taking it and neatly putting it to the side.

Ten minutes on the dot, later, a knock on his door made him glance up. "Come in." he said. The door opened and the blond walked in, a smile on her face.  
She said nothing, but saluted him, her fist over her heart. "State your name." he said and her smile remained on her face.  
"Arabella Duluth, Sir." she said warmly. He looked her over, waving a hand at her to put her at ease. "Sit." he motioned to the chair across from him. She sat down, her eyes staying focused on his. That was interesting. Usually people flinched away from his gaze, but she didn't, in fact, she seemed to be delighted to have him even look at her. She seems like she's one those people who would be delighted if someone told her they had to go take a piss. "Arabella, have you gone by any other name in your life?" he asked and she nodded. He waited for a moment before realizing she was going to make him ask. "What was it?" he snapped.

"Aria, Sir." she said, still smiling. It was starting to irk him.  
"Where was this Alias used?" he asked , crossing his arms.  
"The underground slums, Sir." she said, that damn grin still on her face. He glanced to the vase sitting on the edge of the table. He gently pushed it, watching it fall and shatter on the floor. And the smile was gone. She actually looked like she was going to cry.  
He sighed. "This damn desk needs a new leg." he said and Arabella smiled again, leaning forward.  
"May I, Sir?" she asked and he nodded. She took a small piece of paper from his desk, folding it a few times before sliding it under the leg. "That should do for now, Sir." she said softly and Levi looked at her before standing and grabbing a broom and dustpan from the corner of the office and handing it to Arabella.

She looked at it before standing and taking it with a smile before sweeping up the glass. Levi took the dustpan and glanced at the almost spotless floor. Almost. And then, she kneeled down, pulling a tissue out of her pocket and wiping up the tiny shard of glass between the floor panels. Interesting. Very thorough. "You know why you're here?" he asked and she nodded silently. He looked her face over for a moment. She still had that stupid smile on her face, her hair falling in front of her eyes.

"Do you know where to go?" he asked and she paused, her smile turning into a thoughtful look before she shook her head. Of course not. "Follow me." he said simply. She nodded, following him closely. He glanced at her every now and again before opening one of the doors, Hange was sitting at her desk, papers and books scattered all over her desk and the floor. She scowled. "Hange! Clean this mess up immediately." he said, arms crossing over his chest.  
She glanced up at him, about to dismiss him, as she usually did, when she saw the blond behind him and she jumped up, running to her and staring at her. Levi watched as Arabella simply grinned at Hange, unphased. "You must be her." Hange's voice was low, her eyes showing that insane gleam. Levi shook his head slightly.  
"This is Arabella Duluth, she is going to be your assistant." he said, watching curiously as Hange lifted her hands and moved it to the girl's collar before ripping her shirt, popping a few buttons off. Arabella's smile faded, but she didn't seem horrified, or surprised. Levi, on the other hand, was actually stunned. The fuck was she thinking?

"It's true!" Hange tugged the shirt from her pants, running her hands along the other girls side. What the fuck was happening? Hange turned Arabella so she was facing Levi and lifted the shirt away from her back. "This is amazing." Hange mumbled. Levi looked to the new girl's stomach, seeing what Hange was so fucking excited about. She had scars all along her sides, but they weren't normal. They looked like some kind of symbols.

_"She was from a small hunting village, it was one of the few cults in side Wall Maria."_

Huh. Levi shook his head, clearing his thoughts before looking to Hange as she traced some of the symbols that were apparently etched into her back as well. He opened his mouth to speak, but Arabella spoke first. "M-Miss Hange, may I please put my shirt back on?" she said softly.  
Hange looked at Levi who was still standing there, her eyes thinning. "Why're you still here? For god's sake, the girl's half naked!" she said and Arabella cocked an eyebrow, glancing behind her before starting to re-button her shirt, a few holes remaining thanks to Hange popping off a few buttons.  
"You're the one who tore her shirt off before I was finished speaking." Levi said as he looked to Hange.

She shook her head as Arabella turned away from Levi, unfastening her belt and unbuttoning her khakis so she could tuck her shirt back in. "I figured you were finished. I know who she is. She's my assistant." she said as though if was the simplest thing on Earth.  
"Yes, she is. But, Commander Erwin wants me to monitor her as well and see if she would serve better in my squad." he said simply and Hange frowned.  
"Not until I'm done with her!" she said and Arabella looked at her, her hand firmly over her side.  
"Done with me?" she asked.  
Hange whirled on her. "Yes. I have a few things that are able to smooth out small scars... However, your scars are much deeper, I want to try to find something to get rid of them... And I'd also like to experiment on you. Your hometown thought you were a witch, right?" The color in Arabella's face drained and she slowly looked over to Levi, as though expecting him to save her. "I want to see why they thought that." she said, her face darkening.

Arabella frowned and actually glared at Hange. "I'd rather you not." she said lowly.

* * *

_"That was embarrassing..."_ I rubbed the back of my neck as I followed Hange out. She was introducing me to Sonny and Bean. I hoped they were normal people, but somehow I knew that was not at all what they were.  
"They're Titans that we captured alive." she elaborated as they exited the building. Oh, of course. I returned the smile to my face as I closely followed my new leader. Somehow I thought I would be better off in Captain Levi's squad, out risking my life, than with Miss Hange. Her first impression had quite frankly pissed me off, but I wasn't going to say anything. "We're going to be experimenting on Sonny and Bean today." Hange said as I struggled to keep up with her, fucking short-ass legs.  
"What kind of experiments, Miss Hange" I asked, my voice very sweet. It was all a mask. My smile, my laughter. I hadn't felt happy in a long time, but I was good at faking it. Besides, it did her no good to sulk or pity herself. She'd given up on that as well.

Hange laughed as she pulled me into a tent. "You'll see. And stop with the 'miss' stuff." she smiled at me and I returned it. "It's just Hange." she said with a nod as she stopped in front of a group. I looked them all over and smiled at each of them.  
"Introduce yourself." Hange said and I looked to the people.  
"My name is Arabella Duluth, it's nice to meet you all." I said, my tone friendly. But honestly, I'd rather be anywhere but here at the moment. I glanced behind them at the two Titans. Sonny and Bean... Of course.

After everyone introduced themselves, I sat down, a little away from Hange as she started impaling the Titans with various objects. I was supposed to be writing down their reactions, but they never reacted unless she got too close and then they would snap at her.

I said nothing as I watched Hange, or at least until I felt eyes on me and I turned quietly, trying to find who was looking at me, but to no avail. I looked back to Hange, but couldn't shake the feeling of someone watching me. After who knows how long of watching Hange with the Titans, she released us to eat lunch. Whoever had been watching me had stopped for a while, but it was back now. I glanced around, letting my smile fade off my lips as I walked by my self. "Arabella." Captain Levi's voice made me stop and turn on heel, looking at him. Was he the one that had been watching me?  
"Sir?" I smiled at him warmly. His eyes thinned.  
"Come with me." he said and I looked at him curiously, but did as he ordered.

After a few minutes of walking, we were in the training forest. I looked at Levi silently for a moment before he handed me a 3DMG. I took it, my normal smile nowhere on my face, confusion taking its place. "Sir?" I asked.  
"Put it on." he said and I cocked an eyebrow, but did as I was told. What the fuck was about to happen? After adjusting it to my waist, I turned to Levi. "It says in your file that you're very adept with your gear, I want you to show me." he said and I felt my eyebrows furrow. Huh? Yeah, I was pretty good holding my own, but I didn't understand what he wanted me to do.

"I'm sorry, Captain, but I don't understand." I said carefully, wishing he'd stop skirting around what he wanted me to do and just flat out tell me. That would be great.  
He turned to me, looking down at me. "You're either going to fight me, or you're going to evade me." The fuck? "You have thirty seconds to make up your mind." he said as he took a step back, waiting for me to either take off or take an offensive stance. There was no way I could beat him in a fight. He was the strongest soldier in the Survey Corps. But, I can outrun him. I kept my eyes on his face, analyzing my options.  
"Twenty seconds."  
I took a step back and I was off, switching between my 3DMG and my hands to swing around the branches. I made sure to be as quiet as possible. I had been counting down from twenty in my head since Levi spoke and then an idea popped into my head. There was a very tall tree in the center of the forest. If I could get to it and scale my way up it, cover myself and make as little noise as possible... I changed my course, hearing trees behind me shuffle. He was coming. Faster. Just a bit faster. After knowing that I had a good lead on him, I switched from my 3DMG to using my hands and feet completely, jumping quietly between branches.  
"Almost there." I whispered as the tree came into sight. When I was just the right distance, I let my grappling hook shoot and land firmly close to the middle of the tree. I could hide among the leaves there. I quickly scaled the tree and sat in the branch, maneuvering my body so that I was hidden, but I could see if Levi were to swing by, or stop.

I was silent as a mouse as Levi paused on one of the lower branches. He looked up, looking directly at me. My heart stopped for a moment, getting ready to jump down and get away quickly, but he sighed loudly before taking off again. I smiled, relaxing against the branch, closing her eyes.

* * *

_**I hope you guys like it! Review please! Constructive criticism is always welcome!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Levi growled as he stopped at the tall tree again, looking around. He still hadn't been able to find her. She couldn't still be going. His own gas was about to run out. He looked up again and was about to take off once more when he heard a whimper. "Really..." he was angry. More at himself, for not realizing sooner. He scaled the tree easily, landing on the branch Arabella was laying on. He stood in front of her. She was asleep, a frown on her face, and sweat on her forehead. He nudged her with his foot. "Wake up." he growled at her. Her head tucked down and she was grinding her teeth. He crouched down, looking at her face. He leaned closer until she screamed, her hands finding her sides as she curled into a fetal position. He stared at her before placing a hand on her shoulder, shaking her shoulder. Her eyes snapped open and she attempted to scurry away from him, however she hit the edge of the branch and tumbled off.

He sighed before jumping down, snatching her by her waist and easing them to the ground. Arabella looked up at him, wriggling out of his arm. "Thank you..." she mumbled, not meeting his eyes.  
Levi looked her over. "How long were you up there?" he asked.  
"Since... Maybe two minutes after you started following me?" she said, a small smile on her face. "Sir, how long have we been out here?" she asked.  
"About an hour." he replied fairly curtly.

She nodded a little, her smile back on her face.

* * *

I smiled at him, but my heart was still beating a mile a minute. That awful nightmare... I wished it would go away. "Would you like to join my squad?" he asked.  
I nodded slowly. "Yes, sir." I said softly. "Very much so." I whispered. Anything to get away from Hange. And besides, it would be nice to have something to do rather than just watch two ignorant Titans.  
He watched me and I finally met his gaze again. "I will speak with Erwin tomorrow." he said and I nodded slightly, yawning as he started walking out of the forest, me following closely.  
"Sir... May I ask why you wish to recruit me?" I asked, looking up at him.

He continued walking. "You're intelligent, quick, and interesting." he said simply, not looking at me. I nodded a little before following him closely. "You don't need to report back to Hange today, since I have made my decision." I pressed my hand over my heart, grateful. Hange was kind, but terrifying. "She isn't going to be happy, so don't be surprised if she attempts to dissect you in your sleep." What. I looked at him. "It was a joke." he looked back at me. I let out a breath.  
"Oh." I whispered. This guy had a sense of humor? I looked at him, smiling warmly as he glanced back at me. He turned away from me again and I felt my eyes wandering down his back, staying focused somewhat on his ass. I shook my head. I needed to get laid. It's been a while. Casual sex, survival, and training were my life... It wasn't such a bad life, I thought. I almost groaned, though, thinking about how I was going to have to meet new casual sex partners.

I was deep in thought, thinking of all the men I had met today, when I ran into Captain Levi's back. I stepped back, blushing slightly. Oops. He turned and looked at me for a moment before walking inside. I followed quietly, humming quietly until I saw a man, fairly tall, taller than me. "Am I dismissed?" I asked Levi who nodded and I made a B-line for him. He would do for now. I smiled as I stopped in front of him, my hair falling over my shoulder. "Hello, I'm Arabella Duluth, I don't think I've met you yet." I smiled. He looked down at me and I could tell he was at least a little interested.  
"You haven't. I'm Jean." he said and I grinned at him. I felt eyes on me and glanced behind me, Levi was watching me curiously before going into his office.

* * *

Levi had been walking down the hallway when he passed the new girl's room and he had stopped. The door was cracked just slightly and he had heard what sounded like a slap. He very carefully opened the door a slight bit more and he saw Jean, one of the younger recruits, strangling Arabella, just as he was about to intervene, she opened her mouth. "Harder." His eyes widened a fraction. Her left cheek was pink, her shirt still buttoned around her, however Jean was completely undressed. Levi took a step back.

Well... That was interesting. He looked at the door before taking the handle and closing it with a small slam. He heard the creaking of the bed stop and a few hushed whispers, but Levi was already walking down the hall when the door opened a crack. "Really?" he heard Arabella groan slightly before closing the door again. He almost rolled his eyes, but he was a little confused. Several of the soldiers engaged in casual sex, hell, he'd walked in on several of his comrades, but always managed to escape without their notice.

So why did he feel the need to make his presence known?  
Besides that, he was confused as to why such an innocent-looking girl would allow someone to willingly choke her, let alone slap her across the face. He was slightly interested, to be completely honest.

* * *

I sighed as Jean left my room. That was awful. I shook my head a little before getting redressed, tucking her shirt into my pants before pulling out a cigarette from my silver case and a small match box and walking outside, sitting on a stump facing the training forest. Alone with my thoughts. Because that always ends well. My cheek didn't even sting anymore. I rolled my eyes as I took a small drag, flicking the ash off the end.  
"You _are_ full of surprises." Levi's voice made my face heat up.  
I turned as he sat beside me, setting down a small stool. "I-I don't get what you mean." I mumbled, turning back to the forest.  
"You know, that's bad for you." he said and I glared at him.

"Living is bad for everyone at the moment, so I don't see why shaving a few years off my life is going to hurt." I said before realizing what I was doing and I shook my head, smiling warmly at him. He had caught me off-guard.  
He studied my face for a moment before smirking. "You weren't in your room very long." he pointed out. "It's only been half an hour since I left you." he said and I laughed, blushing.  
"I can move quickly if I put my mind to it." I laughed. "But, if that tells you anything about _him_." I crinkled up my nose before laughing a little more. He shook his head as he looked into the forest. I took another drag from my cigarette. He looked at her.  
He seemed to be debating on a question. I cocked an eyebrow. Interesting. "Jean slapped you." he said and I felt my cheeks light up again and I nodded. He looked at me, expecting me to elaborate.

I looked over at him, meeting his gaze. "What?" I asked him. "It's a sexual preference." I was red as a tomato. "Is this an appropriate conversation to be having with your Captain?" My voice cracked.  
"I'm not your Captain yet." he pointed out and I shook my head. I was so uncomfortable. I just wanted to escape, but I refused to go back inside before finishing my cigarette. "He was also choking you." he said and I laughed nervously.  
"Also a sexual preference. This is all quite personal." I said softly.  
Levi raised an eyebrow. "When Hange ripped your shirt open in front of me, it didn't seem to bother you." he said and my hand instinctively went to my side.  
"I have no issues showing my body to anyone." I mumbled.

"Yet you left your shirt on with Jean." he said and I looked at him, frowning.  
"How long did you watch? That's a bit perverted, Captain." I said and he shook his head, giving a half-smile.  
"Long enough to realize what you were doing." he said simply. I rolled my eyes.

I almost groaned as I took a drag from my cigarette. "Why are you so interested in my sex life?" I questioned, genuinely curious. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Granted, Captain Levi was a very attractive man. She wouldn't mind fucking him... But he was about to be her squad leader and she doubted Erwin would be alright with them casually fucking.  
"Because you don't seem the type to be promiscuous, or be interested in hard sex play. You also don't look old enough to have even lost your virginity." Had I been a cat, my fur would have prickled.  
"Well I have." I snapped, throwing my cigarette on the ground and standing, hands holding my sides.

He stood, grabbing my wrist. I almost yanked it away from him but instead, I took a deep breath and looked at him. "Forgive me. I shouldn't have snapped at you." I said as I pulled my hand away from him, walking back inside, rubbing my sides as I walked to my room, plopping down on my bed.

I wanted to curl inside myself, the painful memories resurfacing as rain tapped slowly against the window.


	3. Chapter 3

Levi groaned just slightly as he rolled onto his side, glancing out the window. He couldn't sleep, and he couldn't explain why. He was about to roll back over and go to sleep when he heard small footsteps walking down the hall. He opened his eyes again, listening as the footsteps stopped for only a moment before continuing. No one should be awake now. It was midnight. He sighed as he sat up before walking over to the window, waiting to see if whoever it was was going outside. And she was. Her blond hair falling in a messy braid. "What the hell is she doing." he mumbled as she sat down on the stump from earlier and lit another cigarette, looking into the forest.

At least it wasn't raining anymore. He turned back to his bed before taking a deep breath and cursing himself as he pulled his boots on, heading outside.  
Once outside, he started towards the blond who was half curled up, looking into the forest. She didn't even seem to notice that he stood behind her. Or she didn't acknowledge him, if she did. "What are you doing?" he asked, but she didn't even jump. She just took a drag from her cigarette and looked into the forest.  
"I'm smoking." she said softly. Her voice was different than it had been earlier. She was calm, not happy, or excited. Just calm.  
"Tch. I see that. I meant what are you doing outside." he elaborated.  
"Smoking." she said, acting like it was the simplest thing in the world. His eyes thinned slightly. "I don't know what you want me to tell you, Sir. I'm just smoking." she mumbled, finally looking up at him. Her eyes were red, and her face was stained with tears. She'd been crying.  
"Why aren't you asleep?" he asked and she shrugged.  
"I couldn't get to sleep." she said gently.

That was a lie. She'd been asleep, he'd passed by her room, the door was open and she was sound asleep, curled around her pillow, whimpering. And then she screamed, just like earlier in the day. He said nothing though, until he noticed the shirt she was wearing had blood on it. "You're bleeding." he said and she nodded. He waited for her to explain, almost growling when she didn't. "Why?" he snapped.  
She shrugged. "I don't know. It just does sometimes." she mumbled. "I can't really explain it." she looked back to the forest, her face somber.  
"Lift your shirt." he said, watching her take her free hand and hike her shirt up. The scars were inflamed and had dried blood around them. But earlier today, they were obviously closed, and nothing more than scars.

He looked at Arabella as she pulled her shirt back down, taking a drag from her cigarette. "How long has it been bleeding?"  
She looked at her side. "Since shortly after I finished having sex with Jean." she said and Levi felt his eye twitch, but he said nothing.

* * *

Why did he keep asking me questions? Can I not just have some privacy? My side fucking hurt and that fucking nightmare came back. My heart ached slightly until Levi spoke again. "Is it still bleeding?" he asked and I looked up at him.  
"Probably." I mumbled, scratching at my side until Levi grabbed my hand. Huh? I cocked an eyebrow. He didn't seem like the kind of person to touch anyone unless he was causing them pain.  
"We need to get that wrapped up." he grabbed the cigarette from my hand and tossed it down, stomping it out. I glared at him, but said nothing as he pulled my hand, pulling me up.  
I sighed, looking down, my hair falling in front of my eyes. "It's always been fine without being wrapped, sir." I said and he ignored me. My head was spinning from standing so quickly, but I followed him with ease.

Once in his room, he forced me to kick my shoes off and sit on a chair in front of his desk. I looked around and smiled slightly. It was spotless. I flinched just slightly as memories flooded my mind. I always had to keep the house spotless. And once it was, I was forced to clean the house all over again. Idle hands are the Devil's playthings. I shook my head as Levi walked back out of his bathroom, a washrag, bandages, and a bottle of something in his hands. He set them down on the desk before kneeling down and unbuttoning my shirt. "I can do that." I mumbled as I went to take the button away from him, our hands brushing just slightly. I almost jumped. Almost.

It felt like electricity jumped between our hands but I shook my head slightly, removing my shirt and folding it neatly in my lap. He looked at me curiously. I said nothing as he took the bottle and poured the liquid onto the rag before pressing it to my side. It stung harshly and I gasped, leaning forward and grabbing his shoulder roughly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I said as I unclasped my hand from his shoulder, but didn't move it, afraid I was going to fall. I whimpered and he finally moved it away. I looked down at him, eyes wide and brimming with tears. "You could have told me it was going to sting." I said, a little more pathetically than I had intended.

He looked up at me for a second. "I didn't really expect it to hurt. These shouldn't really be open." he said, seeming genuinely surprised before he moved to my other side. "Hold on." he said and I stared at him for a moment. "Hold on." he repeated, a bit more sternly. I placed my hand gently over his shoulder and bit into my lip as he pressed the rag to my side. He lifted a hand, gently pulling my lip from my teeth. "Stop doing that. You don't want me to have to put this on your lip." he said and I shook my head, wincing before he finished with the other side. I took a deep breath before he motioned for me to turn around.  
I stared at him, my eyes large again. "What am I going to hold onto?" I mumbled.

Levi rolled his eyes. "The chair, maybe?" he said dryly and I slowly turned, expecting him to just put the rag onto my back, but he took a moment, probably taking in the designs etched into my back. Then came the sting and I lurched forward until Levi's arm held my waist, holding me into the chair. I had to bite my lip hard to keep myself from screaming. My chest heaved as he finished cleaning her back. "Alright?" he asked me and I nodded.  
"It just hurt." I squeaked.  
"It wasn't supposed to fucking tickle." he said as I turned back around.  
I stared at him for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Captain, may I ask you a question?" I asked softly as he lifted a hand and pushed my shoulder and pulled my back forward, forcing me to sit up.

"You just did." he pointed out and I glared at him. He started wrapping my stomach. "What?" he finally said.  
I looked him over for a second before sighing slightly. "Why are you doing this?" I asked, actually curious. Didn't they have a medic on sight for shit like this? Why was Levi taking care of me?  
He glanced up at me for a second before sighing. "Would you like me to let this get infected?" he asked and I flushed.  
"No, Sir. I'm just a bit confused is all." I said and he simply stayed quiet.

After he finished, he stood up, my eyes following him as he took everything back to the bathroom. I stood up and was about to head outside when Levi spoke. "Aria." I flinched at the name, turning to him.  
"Why did you call me that?" I asked and he smirked. To irk me. Of course. But he was wrong. I preferred that over Arabella.  
"To gauge your reaction." he said and I rolled my eyes, walking out. I felt Levi's eyes following me, but said nothing and didn't bother to turn around as I slipped my shirt over my shoulders, buttoning it.

I needed rest. I was exhausted. Losing so much blood probably didn't help the matter. I plopped down on my bed and curled into my pillow before feeling myself drift off.

* * *

_**I hope you guys like it! I'm sorry if I switch between I/me and She/Her in Arabella's parts. I don't typically write in 1st person, but it's so much easier to get into character with my OC :3 So just bear with me a little bit!**_


	4. Chapter 4

I groaned as I woke up, an argument outside my door stirring me.  
"Levi! You can't do that!" Hange's shrill voice made me groan again, louder as I sat up, my sides aching slightly. My shirt was unbuttoned, I figured I'd gotten hot during the night. I sat up and listened to Levi as he responded.  
"She has excellent skills. She would serve better with my squad." he said and I stood up, my feet touching the freezing floor and cringing slightly.  
"I'm not done with her!"  
"You're going to have to be."  
I opened the door, looking between the two. "It's too fucking early." I groaned, Hange's eyes going to my bandaged stomach. I ran a hand through my tangled hair and that's where Levi's eyes stayed.  
They spoke at the same time. "You're hair is a mess."  
"Why are you bandaged?"

I looked between them, deciding who to answer first. "Captain, I just woke up, of course my hair is a mess, and Hange, my scars were bleeding a bit." Her eyes widened and she reached forward, tearing the bandages off, making me whimper almost silently.  
"Hange." Levi said, watching Hange turn me around, studying me.  
"Levi, I have to figure this out!" She whirled on the man who just stared at her.  
"Go." he said and Hange groaned, staring at me, pouting before sulking away. I watched after her until I was shoved back into my room. My eyes snapped to Levi as he kicked my door closed. I opened my mouth until he shoved me into a chair.

"Captain?" I squeaked as he picked up my brush and started brushing. My fucking. Hair. What. "I can brush my own hair, sir." I said softly.  
He yanked at a tangle and I jerked away from him. "Obviously not. You hadn't brushed it before you opened the door." he said as he pulled me back, being gentler with the tangle. I am so fucking confused.  
"You two were being loud and frankly, I wasn't ready to wake up. I was having a good dream." I said with a smile. It was the first time I'd had a good dream in a long time. It was a sex dream, but he didn't have to know that.  
"I know, I heard you moaning from my room."  
My face lit up and I turned to look at him. "You're lying." I said, shaking my head.  
He turned my head. "I am. But I heard you when I came to wake you." I could hear the smirk in his voice and I took a deep breath. "Who was it?" he asked, his voice stoic as ever.  
"Is that your business?" I asked.

"No. But I'm curious." he replied as he finished brushing my hair, running his fingers through it to make sure it was tangle-free.  
I said nothing as I lifted my hand to feel my hair. "I don't remember." I was lying. I remembered. But I wasn't about to tell him.  
"Now you're lying." he said and I shrugged as I stood, going to get my uniform. "It isn't wise to lie to your captain." he said and I smiled.  
"You're not my captain yet." I said and almost immediately regretted it as he shoved me against the wall, his hand on my throat, pressing in slightly.

I had to actually repress a moan as I looked up at him. I looked into his eyes and could tell he wasn't going to harm me. He looked like he was just trying to test the waters... But for what? "Can you let go of my throat, captain?" I asked and he tightened his grip I could tell that my eyes lit up without me being able to stop them. After seeing whatever he wanted to see, he released me.  
"You aren't training today." he pointed out and I looked at him. "You won't start training until tomorrow." he said before walking out abruptly.

* * *

I sat on my stump, tapping my foot. I'd met several new people. Connie, Krista, Ymir, Reiner, and Armin. And I was getting frustrated. I was about to pull out another cigarette when I heard my voice. I turned to see Armin walking towards her with a black-haired girl and a brunette boy... He could work.

I smiled and waved warmly, standing to greet them. "Hello Armin!" I said happily.  
"Arabella, this is Eren and Mikasa." he introduced his friends. I glanced over Eren. He could _defiantly _work. I then looked over to Mikasa. Hell, at this point, she could work. I smiled at them.  
"It's nice to meet you both!" I said, sticking my hand out for them to shake. They both did and I grinned at them.  
"So you're the new girl?" Eren asked and I nodded excitedly.

"I am! Captain Levi is supposed to talk to Commander Smith today and I should be training with you guys tomorrow." I said softly. I felt eyes on me again and I turned, seeing Levi passing by, stopping to look at me, an eyebrow cocked and I blushed a little, turning back to Armin and the others.

* * *

I sat on the stump, face in my hand. I wasn't getting Eren. Mikasa clung to him too much.  
"Given up?" Levi's voice made me turn and I smiled at him.  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said as I looked around, cringing as I noticed Jean looking at me.  
Levi shook his head as he set a stool down beside me and sat down. "I'm not an idiot." he said and I turned to look at him.  
"I would never insinuate that, Sir." I said softly. He shook his head.  
He looked into the forest and I did as well. "You're looking for someone to have casual sex with." he said and I nodded, not able to deny it.

"Again, why are you so interested in my sex life?" I asked, looking up at him for a moment. He shrugged. I stared at him, debating the words in my head and deciding against them with ease. I didn't know if I could handle the answer.  
He turned towards me. "Have you found anyone?" he asked and I sighed, shaking my head.  
"No. A few thoughts, but I gave up on those. Maybe not on one. She seems like she could be fun." she mumbled and Levi actually looked a little surprised. "What?" I asked and he shook his head. "Are you judging me?" I asked and again, he shook his head.

"Full of surprises." he said and I stared at him. "Who were you considering?" he asked and I almost rolled my eyes.  
I give up. I'd already told him more than most people know. I don't know why he, of all people, was able to make me comfortable enough to talk about thinks like this with. "Eren Yeager and Mikasa Ackerman." he seemed surprised again.  
Then he snorted. I looked at him. "Eren?" he looked at me like I was insane and I stared at him, confused. What was wrong with Eren. "Aside from the fact that the two are together, you should make better choices for sexual partners."

I stared at him, stunned, letting slip the words that had been circling my head since waking up. "Would you like me to have sex with you?" I questioned. He looked at me and smirked and my stomach flipped. What did that mean? He said nothing and stood up, walking away, Jean running to take his place. What just happened? I shouldn't have said that. I'm going to pay for that... Shit.


	5. Chapter 5

Ever since our last conversation I'd been avoiding Levi like the fucking plague. I'd spent most of the day with Hange, knowing Levi would leave her to her experiments. I was fucking looking behind corners, making sure he was nowhere near me. I don't know if I pissed him off or what, but I didn't want t find out. My sides and back ached from Hange attempting to smooth them down, by taking a fucking needle and picking the edges.

I groaned softly, heading to my bedroom to check my sides. I paused at Levi's door, listening to see if he was in there and sighed with relief when it was totally silent. I walked to the corner of the hall and slowly peaked around it. All clear. I was about to walk around it when a hand covered my mouth, an arm wrapped around my waist and I was being pulled back and into Levi's room. I cursed myself, struggling against him, only making him hold me tighter. "Relax." Levi's voice said in my ear and I sighed, going completely limp in his arm, making him almost drop me. He let go of me and I turned to face him, confused.  
I wanted to say something, but decided to keep my mouth shut. "You've been avoiding me."  
"I was scared I made you angry and wanted to give you time to cool off." I said truthfully. "I spent the day with Hange." I rubbed my side. Of course, this didn't go unnoticed. He looked at my side and moved to tug my shirt up. I moved away from his hand. He looked to my face and noticed I was uncomfortable.

"Relax." he said again and I slowly did, allowing him to pull up my shirt and looked at my side. "What the hell did she do?" he asked, his fingers grazed over my scars and I almost sighed as his fingers traced them.  
"She pricked the edges with a small needle. Does it look bad?" I asked, trying to see them.  
"Fucking awful." he said and I sighed, shaking my head. He raised back up, but his hand remained on my side. I looked up at him. "Your question, earlier," I felt my face heat up.  
I carefully attempted to take a step back. "I'm sorry, Sir. I was out of li-Woah!" I yelped as he picked me up by my hips and I latched onto him so I wouldn't fall as he let go. He almost smirked. I looked down at him, blushing. "What are you doing?" I squeaked, my hands resting on his shoulders as he placed his hands on my thighs, wrapped snugly around his waist.  
"Taking you up on your offer." My eyes widened. I don't know how to feel about any of this. On one hand, he could be a great casual sex partner. On the other hand, he was my fucking Squad leader.

I stumbled around with my words as he walked over to his bed. "Wait! Wait. Wait." I said as he gently set me down, cocking an eyebrow at me. "I don't... This isn't appropriate. You're my Captain." I started and he rolled his eyes. I looked at him, shocked that he cared so little about how strange this was. "What if Command-"  
"I doubt he would give a shit." he said and I looked at him, my hands shaking slightly. He leaned back, looking down at me. "You have ten seconds to make up your mind." he said, crossing his arms. I stared at him, my mouth open.  
He reached forward and forcefully closed it and I stared up at him. "Five seconds." What am I going to do? This is so fucked up. Soooo fucked up. I paused for a second, thinking.  
"Slap me." I finally said, looking up at him, he didn't even hesitate to strike me and I gasped just slightly at the force, my cheek burning as I looked up at him. Well, that made up my mind. I reached forward and took hold of his jacket, pulling him forward, but he took both of my hands, pulling them above my head, his eyes thinning as he got in my face.  
"You're not the one in control here." he said as he roughly moved my legs so that I was fully on the bed. I opened my mouth to speak, but by the look on his face, I decided that wasn't going to be the wisest decision.

_I think I'm going to enjoy this..._

* * *

I glanced over to Levi, one arm above my head, the other down at my side. "Well." I slightly panted out, he turned his face to look at me. He cocked an eyebrow. "That was fun." I said, moving my hand down to my face. I had little to no doubt that I was going to have a bruise. But I was perfectly fine with that. That was fucking amazing. He smirked at me and I smiled slightly, sitting up and reaching for my shirt that he had ripped off. I tend to leave it on during sex, granted, most of the people I've had sex with didn't know about the scars in the first place. I groaned as Levi grabbed my waist, pulling me back onto the bed. "What?" I asked as his fingers traced over one of the scars. "Are they bleeding again?" I asked. They didn't usually bleed two days in a row.

"No." he said, but his finger still traced my back. I sighed slightly, enjoying the feeling until he went over where Hange had pricked and I arched away from his fingers. I could feel him glance up at me and I moved to stand again.  
"Levi." I said as he pulled me back down. I finally gave up and lay back down, looking over at him.  
He was looking at my side now and I squirmed slightly. If he could just... Not do that anymore, that would be great. "Who did this to you?" he asked, curiosity showing just slightly in his eyes.  
I stared at him like he had completely lost his mind. "We just had sex and that's what you're going to say? Fuck you." I attempted to move again but his hand clamped around my upper arm and I sighed, watching him just look at me. "My father." I said simply, glancing to the side. The memories flooded my mind and I had to physically shake my head to avoid thinking about them.

He watched me curiously before letting go of my arm. I sat up and snatched my shirt, pulling it on while Levi just lay there, his eyes flickering open and closed. I almost laughed. Almost.  
Once fully dressed I yawned, looking over at him, picking up the pillow he wasn't laying on and throwing it at his face. He caught it and looked at me. I offered him a grin and he rolled his eyes. "Have a good night, Captain." I said softly, taking my leave.

I closed his door quietly, but it didn't escape someone's eyes. "Arabella!" Hange's voice made me cringe and I took a step back as she ran towards me. "Why were you in Levi's room?" she got uncomfortably close to my face and I flinched. She inhaled and her jaw dropped. "No!" She said and I took a step back.  
"Uhm, I actually need to go to bed, Hange. I'm sorry!" I said, bolting around the corner, hearing Hange slam open Levi's door. My face was redder than it had ever been as I avoided slamming into Jean and swinging myself into my room, sitting on my bed and wincing just slightly, realizing how sore I was. Sleep. I need sleep.

* * *

I groaned as I woke up, rolling onto my stomach and burying my face under my pillow until my door opened, someone flicking open the curtains. I winced as I opened one eye until the blankets were ripped off of me. I lifted myself onto my arms and looked up as Levi snatched the pillow and tossed it onto the blanket in the floor. "Don't do that." I groaned as I rolled onto my side and stood up, stretching.  
"You're training today." he said and I looked to him before scratching my side, only for Levi to smack the back of my hand.  
"Stop." I whined, scratching at my side again, only for him to grab my wrist. "Don't you have anything better to do than antagonize me?" I complained as I picked up the blanket, making my back back to the way it was the day before. I could feel him watching me and I turned and looked at him. "What?" I asked as I moved to grab my uniform.  
He said nothing, but lightly tapped his cheek. I lifted a hand to my own and winced. That fucking hurt. I went to the bathroom and looked at my cheek. "Shit." I mumbled before looking back at Levi.  
"You didn't have to bruise me." I said as I looked to my neck, his fingers had also left bruises. "Fucking hell. I'll be surprised if my vagina isn't bruised." I whispered before stepping out and h shrugged.

"I tried to be gentle and you got mouthy with me." he said and I stared at him for a moment, my knees weakening just slightly, thinking about it. I shook my head before going back to the bathroom, picking up my brush before closing the door.  
"Why are you still here?" I called through the door.  
"Do you want me to leave and let you get fucking lost?" he snapped back and I rolled my eyes as I changed, braiding my hair over my shoulder.

He had a point. I walked out, carefully putting my clothes in the small hamper in the corner of my room. Levi reached forward, pulling the string my my hair, my braid falling. I looked at him for a moment before reaching to get the string back. "Do you mind?" I growled as he pocketed. "Because that's going to stop me." I looked at him, reaching for his pocket when he grabbed my hand, pulling it around my back and shoving me face-first into the wall, his body pressing firmly against my back. "Levi." I grumbled, but I had to admit, that was a little exciting. I felt him pull my hair from over my shoulder, finger-combing it back into it's usual place before releasing me. "What the fuck?" I asked as he walked out, me hot on his heels.  
"Don't braid your hair." he said simply.  
"Is that some kind of fucking rule you have for your cadets?"  
"No. Just you." I bit into my cheek. Jack ass.

He turned towards me as I pulled out another loop of string, pulling my hair over my shoulder. Levi stopped, but I continued walking. "You don't control me completely. Captain." I said simply as I finished the braid.  
"Tch." I smiled slightly before turning to look at him. He was glaring at me.  
"You can't legally put rules on me that don't apply to the others." I smiled at him, scratching my cheek before continuing to walk. I was going to pay for that, I was sure. But the last comment I made, I was perfectly happy paying for it.

* * *

"What happened to your face?" Armin's voice made me look up from the table. I gently touched my cheek before laughing.  
"Oh, I was in the stables and one of the horses kicked me." I shrugged. "I got far enough away to keep my jaw from breaking, but it still got me." I laughed warmly as I took a bite of my apple.  
Mikasa was looking at my throat. "And your throat?" she asked and I bit into my cheek, trying to think of an excuse. "I got into a little spat with another cadet, it's not too big of a deal." I waved my hand, attempting to dismiss their thoughts. I silently cursed Levi as I took another bite of my apple. I could feel him glaring at me, but I didn't let it bother me. It was a one-time thing, and I wasn't going to let him intimidate me or dominate me anywhere but in the bedroom.

"I'm glad you're training with us today!" Armin smiled at me and I returned it.  
"I am too!" I said, grinning, reaching back and gently scratching my back, mainly to irk Levi. He was interesting, that was for sure. I turned slightly, glancing at him. He sat between two cadets, Connie and Krista. Krista saw me and waved happily and I returned it with a grin before turning back to the table.  
"So you've already made some friends?" Eren said and I nodded.

"A few. I've been trying to avoid Hange. Her last experiment didn't go so well. I said as I rubbed my side.

After eating, I followed behind Eren and Mikasa, Armin sticking to my side. "Captain Levi has been glaring at you all morning..." I shrugged.  
"I'm not worried about it." I said, but in the back of my mind I felt like I should be...


	6. Chapter 6

I stared at Levi as he dismissed everyone. But me. I bit into my lip silently. I hadn't done anything wrong. I followed each of his orders, I completed every task efficiently. Why was he keeping only me back? I stared and him and he motioned to the left. "Laps." Are you fucking kidding me?  
"Is this because of my hair?" I cocked my head to the side and he glared at me. I sighed softly, taking off in a jog. If I take out into a bolt, I'm going to tire myself out. As I passed by Levi, I glared at him, every time. I ran for about an hour until Levi's hand grabbed my braid, yanking me backwards and onto my back. I gasped as the air was knocked out of me and I looked up as Levi kneeled over me, his eyes cold as they looked into mine. I started breathing normally again and he grabbed the front of my shirt, lifting me back to my feet. I said absolutely nothing as he shoved me.

I don't know what the fuck I did to make him _this_ angry, but I wasn't about to ask. "Am I dismissed, Sir?" I asked softly. I glance back to him as he nodded, still glaring. "That was a pretty shitty punishment." I mumbled to myself as I hurried inside before he changed his mind. That didn't seem too awful, but I doubt it was over. It couldn't be... I was looking behind me when I ran into Eren's side. "Oh! I'm sorry!" I smiled up at him and he returned it.  
"It's fine." he said and motioned for me to join him. "Why did Captain Levi have you run laps?" he asked and I shrugged.  
"I honestly have no idea." I huffed slightly. He looked down at me and grinned as we walked.

"Well, hopefully he'll ease up on you." he said and I nodded.  
I glanced around for a moment before looking back to Eren. "Where's Armin and Mikasa?" I asked curiously.  
"Mikasa is showering, and Armin should be talking with Krista right now." I nodded slightly as we walked. A small yawn escaped my lips and Eren laughed.

* * *

Levi watched Arabella carefully as she walked in with Eren, the two laughing and talking and he almost rolled his eyes. He watched her as she pulled her hair down, running her fingers through it. It was in gentle waves now. He didn't like the braid. It looked ridiculous on her. And it irked him that she hadn't left it down. He could easily gain control of anyone he wanted to, especially if he had sex with them. But she was different. 75% submissive in the bedroom, 0% anywhere else. She was a puzzle.

She sat down beside Eren, facing him. He glared at her, her eyes shifted to him and she gave him that fucking grin. He clenched his fists until he felt arms around his neck. Hange. He turned to her as she excitedly greeted him. Which he was honestly glad about. She wasn't scolding him for having sex with Arabella anymore. Not that he listened, but it was highly irritating. She sat beside him and started eating before looking over to Arabella who was leaning on the table, eating slowly, pausing every now and then to giggle at something someone said or smile at someone.

"You know, she's really sweet." Hange said, a mouth full of food. He grimaced, but he had given up on making her close her mouth when she was eating.  
Levi cocked an eyebrow. "And?" he asked, not really understanding where she was going with this.  
She stared at him for a second, shrugging. "I'm just saying. She's sweet." she said and Levi rolled his eyes before looking back over to Arabella as she picked at her food before stretching and standing, stopping to stop and say something before walking out. He'd give her five minutes, and then he was going after her.

He couldn't quite explain why he was so drawn to her, but every time she was out of his sight, it was like something was pulling him to her. It was stupid, and it pissed him off.

* * *

I groaned as I sat down, looking into the forest again, the sun had finally gone down. My legs were aching slightly, but I simply leaned forward, yawning.  
"What are you doing?" Levi's voice made me flinch and I looked up at him. I wasn't smoking, so I didn't really know what to tell him this time. I was just thinking.  
"Thinking." I said with a small smile. He watched me as I looked back to the forest.  
He was staring at me. "Why do you come here?" he asked and I tensed slightly.

The forest reminded me of home. As weird as it sounded. My home was awful, it wasn't a home, at all. I shook my head and just shrugged at Levi. "Why do you follow me out here?" I turned to look at him and he said nothing. I looked into the forest and closed my eyes until I felt Levi walking behind me. They opened a sliver as he grabbed a fistful of my hair. I winced and tried to turn to look at him. He was confusing as hell. One minute we were okay, and friendly, the next he's acting like he's my master. I glared as he pulled me up and into the forest. I said nothing as I let him push me into the forest. "Can I ask what's going on?" I mumbled and he pulled tighter and I whimpered. I'd had bad experiences with hair-pulling, but since he was still probably angry with me, I said nothing.

I winced as he pushed me against a tree. He finally let go of my hair and I turned to look at him. He still looked angry, and the way his fingers were digging into my hips told me that, as well. I took a deep breath before attempting to fully turn around, but he put a hand in the middle of my back , forcing me to remain where I was. Then his hands were gone. But I didn't hear him walking away and I could still feel his eyes on me, watching me. I assumed what he wanted, but that wasn't going to happen. I pushed myself off the tree and turned to face him. "I know what you're trying to do, and it's not going to work." I said, crossing my arms in front of my chest. He looked me over before taking a step forward and I put my hand up, pushing just slightly on his chest. "I know you're my captain, but right now you are out of line. I have done _nothing_ wrong. Yet you're punishing me because you want to break me." he said nothing as I stared at him. "You're not going to break me. I've never been broken, and I never will be. You are my captain, and I will follow your orders, but you really need to check yourself. You're acting like a jackass, and you know it." I said before walking past him, expecting him to either follow me or yank me back to him, but when neither happened, I took a deep breath and confidently walked back inside.

* * *

The next week went without incident. Levi and I talked while I was outside, looking into the forest, but nothing really eventful. He questioned me about my home, but I never really gave him an answer. Skirting around the issue is what I did best. It pissed him off, and I could tell, but it was really something I never wanted to talk about again. Jean was constantly attempting to talk to me, but really? After the first time, I was 100% over him. Not what I had expected in the slightest.  
But, tomorrow was my first expedition outside of the wall. I was somewhat frightened, but who wouldn't be?  
Levi had given us the day off and I was just relaxing on my bed, looking outside the window, watching a few people talk, hug each other, ect and I smiled a little.

My door opened and I looked up, expecting it to be Hange, Krista or Sasha, but to my surprise, it was Levi. He hadn't entered my room unannounced since he woke me up on my first day of training, in a simple white shirt and black pants, I was also surprised to see he was missing his cravat. I looked over to him and smiled warmly. "Morning." I said softly. I was in a red tunic and simple black tights, my feet bare, hair down and a mess around my head. He shook his head, picking up my hair brush and moving behind me. I smiled slightly.  
"I don't understand how someone who can keep their room so clean can be perfectly happy looking like this." he mumbled and I laughed, shrugging.  
"I'm not a huge fan of brushing my hair." I said as he ran my brush through it. "I like when you do it, though. You're surprisingly gentle." I mumbled as he set the brush down, about to run his fingers through it when I leaned back on his chest, still looking out my window. I felt him tense against my back before relaxing. He looked out my window with me, the wind blowing the trees gently.

"Are you alright?" he mumbled and I glanced at him. Was that genuine concern?  
I nodded slightly. "I am. A bit frightened, but that's to be expected, I'm assuming?" I looked back at him and he nodded slightly. We sat like that for a while until finally I yawned, leaning forward, away from him and laying back on my pillow, Levi watching me. I rolled so I was facing the wall Levi was leaning back against and I smiled at him. "So what do you do on your days off?" I asked as I motioned for him to move closer so I could see him better. He scooted closer and shook his head.  
"Nothing." he said and I rolled my eyes, lifting my head up onto my hand.  
"You sound like me." I teased him. "Why are you here?" I asked gently, looking up at him.

He took a minute, obviously thinking about it. I stared at him and he glanced down at me. "What?" I asked.  
"You never answer my questions, why should I answer yours?" I shook my head. Jerk.  
I rested my chin on the back of my hand, staring up at him. "Ask away." I finally said. Just in case I die, someone might as well know about me.

He seemed surprised and I smiled. I loved seeing him surprised. It was so rare that I caught him off-guard. "Why did your father do that to you?" he motioned to my side.  
I frowned a little. "Because my village thought I was a witch... He thought that marking me with their religious symbols would cleanse me of my sins or some shit." I mumbled.  
"How old were you?"  
"Eight. They've grown with me." I said and Levi nodded. "Now you answer my question." I said.  
He paused and I cocked an eyebrow. "I wanted to spend time with you." he said and I almost laughed. It was sweet, but it seemed like it was torture to say that.

"Why?" I asked and he looked down at me, glaring.  
"Because you might die tomorrow." he said and I flinched. He put a hand on my side in an attempt to relax me. It mostly worked. "Why did your village think you were a witch?"  
I flinched again and his thumb ran over my floating rib. "Because I'm blond. Don't laugh. I know it's stupid, but apparently, in their religious texts it says that the third child of a family with a male and female child will be born with hair the color of the sun. She will be the end to not only the village, but the world. It's stupid. But keep in mind, they were a cult." I said and shrugged.  
"You have siblings?" he asked and I looked at him, my heart aching deeply.

"I did. I had an older bother and an older sister." I smile warmly. "They died in the fire..." I mumbled and he ran a hand up my side. "Why do you treat me like this?" I asked and he looked at me for a moment.  
He seemed to stumble with his words before finally deciding what he was going to say. "I don't know." he said, but the look in his eyes told me he wasn't lying.  
I searched his face for a second before smiling. "Why didn't you punish me for snapping at you?" I asked softly, sitting up and moving to sit beside him.  
He almost glared at me. "I'm not answering that one." he said and I cocked my head to the side.

"Because I was right?"  
"I never said that." I grinned.  
"You just implied it though." I said and he rolled his eyes. I rested my head on his shoulder, smiling as he let me.

"Even though you're a jerk, I like spending time with you. You're interesting." I mumbled and Levi glanced down at me.  
"I suppose I could say the same for you." he said and I smiled. Good enough.

* * *

_**My updates are going to slow down this weekend! I work long hours and that on top of taking care of my 3-month-old is going to kick. My. Ass.  
Hopefully I can post at least one update a day though! I'm going to do my best!  
And thank you for the reviews! They truly mean a lot to me! I love reading them!**_


	7. Chapter 7

I yawned as I flipped over to my back, Levi and I had been talking for a couple of hours and we were just laying together, staring at the ceiling. "Are you relaxed?" I asked as I shifted closer to him, my head resting on his arm.  
"I'm never relaxed." he said and I rolled my eyes a little. He looked over to me and I turned my head to face him, our noses just a inch away from each other and I smiled warmly at him.  
"You're a good actor then." I said and he rolled his eyes, making me laugh slightly. We just laid there like that for a minute before I finally looked back to the ceiling, looking at the designs in the small cracks before pointing. "Looks like a dog." I said and his eyes followed my finger.  
"It looks like a cracked ceiling." he said and I frowned, reaching over and tilting his head.

"Now do you see it?" I asked, outlining it.  
He looked at the cracks. "No. Still looks like a cracked ceiling." he said and I laughed.  
"It looks like a dog." I said and he shook his head at me.  
I had given up when he spoke again. "... I guess I can see it." he mumbled and I looked over at him again, nodding. I opened my mouth to speak again when it sounded like someone kicked my door and I flinched, moving to curl into a ball, but Levi's hand held my shoulder so I couldn't. "Sounds like someone fell against it." he said simply before feeling me trembling under his hand and he looked over to me. "What?" he asked and I shook my head. All through my childhood, sudden, loud noises meant pain. A door slamming, a glass breaking, a whip cracking. I sat up, rubbing my side before standing. "Where're you going?" he groaned and I walked over to my desk, pulling out my cigarettes.

He nodded slightly and I looked back at him. "Are you coming with me?" I asked softly. He normally joined me outside.  
Levi shook his head a little, closing his eyes. "I'll be here when you get back." he murmured and I stared at him. He opened one eye and looked at me. I smiled a little at him before walking out.

* * *

Sitting on my stump, I stared into the forest silently until I felt someone walk behind me. I smiled a little. "I figured you would be asleep by now." I turned, expecting to see Levi, but froze when I was met by the face of Reiner. "Oh!" I laughed softly. "I'm sorry, Reiner, I thought you were someone else." I said and he smiled at me slightly, sitting to my left beside me on the ground.  
"I didn't mean to creep up on you." he said and I shook mine, taking a drag from my cigarette.  
"Don't worry about it. With Captain Levi sneaking up on me constantly, I kind of got used to it." I said truthfully.  
He chuckled slightly as he looked into the forest. I glanced over to him. "Is that who you thought I was?" he asked and I nodded slightly. We sat in silence for another moment before he spoke. "Are you scared for tomorrow?" he asked.  
I laughed slightly. "A bit." I whispered, noticing he was staring at me.

"Don't be." he said and I looked over at him. "You're not going to get hurt." Something about how he said that unnerved me.  
"I know I have to think positively, but anyone could get hurt." I mumbled.  
He was staring at me so intensely... "You won't be. Trust me." he said and I almost winced as I felt my scars opening up.  
I tossed my half-finished cigarette to the ground and snuffed it out. I smiled at him. "Thanks for the pep-talk, Reiner. It helped. Really. But I'm going to get some rest." I patted his shoulder before booking it back inside.

* * *

I opened my door slowly, my sides already drenched. They usually only bleed once every other month. I had one hand on the left side, it ached more than the right or my back. Levi was at my desk, flipping through my papers. Sketches and small poems that I had scribbled in the middle of the night and forgotten about. "Hey!" I said, looking at him and putting my hands on my hips. He glanced towards me, about to dismiss me and continue reading a poem I had written the night before until his eyes went to my right hand, the one I had held my side with. He stood up, walking towards me and snatching my wrist, looking over my hand for a cut until he saw my wet shirt sticking to my side.  
"They're bleeding again." he said. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. I nodded and he sighed, lifting my shirt. The look on his face told me it looked as bad as it felt. "Do they normally bleed this much?" I shook my head and he motioned for me to follow him and I stopped.

"You're not going to put that stuff on them again, are you?" I asked and he glared down at me.  
"Do you want me to let you get fucking infected? Stop whining." he said, pulling me, but I stopped.  
"It hurts." I whined and his eye twitched slightly.  
"It hurts seeing you looking all fucked up. You look disgusting." he said and I groaned as he pulled me to his bedroom. I continued groaning and whining, though, all the way to his room until he had me sitting in the chair and pulling my shirt over my head.

I watched him as he got everything to bandage me up. Once he was in front of me again, I whimpered slightly. "Hush. Hold on." he said and I took hold of his shoulder, leaning forward, my mouth touching the back of his head as I whimpered, trying not to wriggle around too much.

Once he was finally finished, I looked back at him, his arm still snuggly around my waist. "Thank you, Levi." I whispered and he said nothing, his forehead pressed against my shoulder surprising me. He was often kind to me, but never this tender. He pulled me backwards in the chair, his other arm finding its way around my waist. I jumped a little, confused. I rested my hand on his arm as I leaned back, looking at him. "Levi?" I said softly. He glanced up at me. Today was turning out to be strange. "Are you alright?" I asked and he said nothing, just tightened his arms around my waist. I smiled slightly, just relaxing.

"Don't get killed tomorrow. Alright?" he said into my shoulder. I frowned.  
"I'll try not to." I said softly. He blinked, ticking my shoulder. "I had an odd conversation with Reiner while I was outside." I said gently. He stood, pulling me to his bed, laying down and glancing from me to the bed and I sighed, about to crawl in beside him when he pointed to my tights.  
"You bleed on your tights. Off." he said and I stared at him. Was he fucking serious? He glared at me. Of course he was. I slipped out of them before laying beside him. "What did he say?" he asked, draping his arm around my hips.  
"It's not really what he said, it's how he said it. He was staring at me. Kind of a mixture of how Sasha stares at food and how Hange stares at my scars. And he told me I wasn't going to get hurt and to trust him." I looked at Levi who looked confused.  
"He was trying to comfort you." he said and I shook my head.  
"That's what I thought at first." I mumbled. "But how intensely he was staring at me made me uncomfortable." I said and Levi looked at me, glancing over my face before pulling me to him, making me jump and blush slightly.

I can lay beside him, in nothing but bandages and underwear completely fine, he pulls me close to him and I blush? Makes total sense. I rolled my eyes at myself as I tucked my head under his chin. He said nothing as we lay there. It felt... Nice... I hadn't felt this relaxed in years... I felt comfortable...


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh my!" a voice stirred me from probably the most peaceful sleep I've had in years. My eyes blinked open, only to be met with the sleeping face of Levi. I smiled a little. He looked so relaxed. I moved my hand to brush hair away from his face when I remembered the voice. I turned a little to see Hange looking over us. I groaned a little, looking at her. "What're you doing?" Hange asked, a grin across her face.  
I looked at her for a moment. "I _was _sleeping." I said as I moved to sat up, only to be pulled closer to Levi. I turned to look at him and it was very obvious that he didn't want me to move, his eyebrows were furrowed and he was frowning. I smiled softly before relaxing, hoping Hange would go away.  
"Arabella?" Nope. I made a small noise, acknowledging her. "How are your sides?" she asked.  
"You're going to wake him up." I whispered, tucking my head back under Levi's chin.  
She snorted. "When he's out like this, a Titan couldn't wake him up." she said and I laughed softly.  
"They were bleeding earlier." I said and the blankets were ripped off of us, Hange gasping as she realized that I was barely clothed. She'd walked in after we had sex, though... So this shouldn't be too surprising to her. She shook her head before shoving Levi's body away from mine, effectively stirring him. His eyes blinked open and he glanced at me as Hange pulled me up so I was sitting and ripping the bandages off.

He took a minute to grasp the situation before groaning and sitting up, watching Hange poke and prod at my sides. I whimpered. "I missed it!" she whined.  
"What are you doing?" Levi growled.  
"I wanted to check and see if Arabella's scars had smoothed out any." she said as she ran her hands over my sides. "Doesn't quite look like it." she said as she pulled me around, looking at my back. Levi looked at me, watching me simply take it until she moved to my left side. Pain surged through my body and I tried to move away from her. "Leave her alone." he finally yawned out as I stood up, pulling my tights on and looking around for my shirt. "Look in the closet. I should have a shirt that fits." Levi grumbled. I almost laughed at how tired he seemed. I did as he told me, blocking Hange and Levi out until Levi finally got her to leave. I pulled one of his shirts over my body.

"Thanks." I said softly as I walked towards the door, about to go back to my own room until Levi grabbed my wrist. "What?" I asked, turning to face him.  
"Where are you going?" he asked and I looked at him for a moment.  
"I was going to let you sleep some more." I said and he shook his head.  
"I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep." he mumbled.  
I put my hands on my hips. "Well, you need more sleep. You look exhausted."  
He cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep." he said again.

I stared at him. "What do you want me to do about that?" I asked, laughing slightly. "I can't force you to go back to sleep." I smiled at him.  
He looked me over before laying down, his hands behind his head. "Make me tired." he said and I looked at him for a moment, confused. "You're not particularly smart, are you?" he asked and I balled my fists up. "Come here." he said and I glared at him, slowly walking over to him, pausing at the edge of the bed. "Off." he pointed to my tights.  
"I'm sure the blood is tried by now." I said and he rolled his eyes.  
"I don't care. You won't need them anyway." he said and my eyes widened a fraction. Oh.

I sighed a little, slipping out of my tights, keeping his shirt on as I crawled onto the bed and straddling his hips, looking down at him. "I'm assuming this is what you wanted." I said and he said nothing.  
He looked over my face for a moment, and I knew that look. I've seen it before. He was trying to make sure I was okay with this without saying it. I gently bucked my hips against his, giving him his answer before leaning down to unbutton his shirt, a sly grin on my face.

* * *

I yawned a little as I looked over to Levi. "You're strange." he said, glancing over to me. I rolled onto my side, looking at him.  
"I've heard that before. But what makes you say that?" I asked, my hands snuggled under my head.  
He looked my face over for a second. "Second time we've fucked, you've not once tried to actually kiss me." I felt my eyes widen a little. Huh?  
I shook my head. "Well... No." I said as I looked over his face. "I associate kissing with emotions. Casual sex has absolutely no need for kissing." I explained, watching as he nodded, looking to the ceiling. Where I've had sex with... A few different men, I'd actually never been kissed. Most people didn't understand that, but I've never really loved anyone. And kissing generally leads to emotions, and if I just want to fuck and leave... I didn't want to get attached.  
"It looks like a horse." Levi's voice surprised me. I looked at the ceiling, trying to see where he saw a horse.  
"Where?" I asked.  
He reached over, tilting my head towards him and pointing. "There." he said and I looked at the cracks before seeing it, vaguely.  
"Oh okay." I smiled as I looked over to Levi.

I opened my mouth to speak again until my stomach growled. I laughed a little. Maybe skipping lunch hadn't been the best idea. "We should both go eat." I said as I sat up. He nodded, agreeing as he stood up, I watched him before jumping up and pulling on his shirt and my tights.  
"Those are dirty." he pointed out. I rolled my eyes at him before walking out.

* * *

"Aria!" Krista's voice made me smile as I sat down. She had decided on calling me Aria, saying it was a beautiful nickname. And because Krista called me that, Ymir followed suit. I grinned at the two as they sat down. "You certainly look happy!" the blond grinned at him and I returned it.  
"I am!" I said softly as I started eating.  
Ymir was the next to speak. "Are you nervous?" she asked and I shrugged a little.  
"A bit." I said honestly.

Krista nodded a little. "It _is_ scary." she said as she looked at me. "But you'll be okay, I'm sure!" she said and I nodded, hoping she was right. I just had an odd feeling when I thought about it...  
"You're going to be with Mikasa, aren't you?" Ymir asked and I nodded.  
"Mikasa, Reiner and Armin." I said softly.  
"You'll be fine. Between Reiner and Mikasa's strength and Armin's brain, you'll be fine, even if you freeze up." Ymir said and I smiled at her.  
"Hopefully I won't freeze up though!" I said and both girls nodded.

* * *

_**Sorry it's short. Work and the little one is kicking my ass. We're attempting to get our son to sleep in the crib again (He has refused to since he started teething!) so HOPEFULLY I'll have a little more time during the weekends now. Maybe ha ha!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**I try not to do notes at the beginning of chapters, but this is a slight warning. I haven't read the Manga, so ALL my information comes from the show and Wikia. Thanks to Wikia I DO know some spoilers and will be using them. So if you don't want to read them... You might want to stop reading.  
But again, thank you so so much for your reviews! My fiance fucked up and let Zack sleep in our bed, but he said that he would take care of him tonight so I can have some me time so HOPEFULLY I'll be able to get another chapter up tonight!**_

* * *

I wasn't nervous until just. Now. I sat on my horse, Mikasa to my right, Reiner to my left, and Armin behind me. I felt my heart skip slightly as my hands begin to shake. I was going to encounter Titans. Actual Titans. A hand wrapped around mine and I looked to my left, Reiner was smiling at me and I returned it nervously before looking forward again, Levi's words from yesterday entering my head.  
_"Because you might die tomorrow."_

I wasn't going to die. I refused. I would do whatever I could to return. That's what _he_ would have wanted. _He_ wouldn't want me to die by the hands of a Titan. I put my hand over my pocket, the little heart made out of a piece of barbed wire poked me through the fabric and I smiled.  
_"Please don't be upset if I meet you today, Jack."_ I thought as I glanced up at the sky before hearing Commander Erwin order the gates to be lifted. I patted my horse, which I had named Naya, on the neck.

Following behind Krista, I felt my breathing hitch just slightly as I passed under the gate. We weren't in Titan territory yet, but as I passed under the second gate, I found myself talking to Jack in my head.  
_"I've been training so hard, Jack, but I'm still scared... Is this how you felt? Before they killed you?"_  
I took a deep breath as everyone took off into a gallop. Soon, Mikasa led us to the right and it was just the four of us. My heart was racing, but on the back of Naya, I felt almost invincible. We traveled without incident until a red flare was fired to our left. "Arabella." Mikasa said and I nodded, loading the flare gun hooked around my hips and fired it, covering my ear. A short while later, a green flare was shot, aiming to the right. Armin fired it quickly, and we veered to the right.

The land we were traveling on was fairly flat. That was concerning. We couldn't use our 3DMG on flat land unless we were able to hook onto the Titan and that was dangerous. After about five more minutes without incident, I felt the earth under us shaking and turned around, seeing nothing but Armin. I looked to both sides, in front of us. No Titan... "Mikasa!" I called, veering closer to her. "Do you feel that?" I asked and she turned to look at me.  
"What?" she asked and I looked to the other two. They didn't feel it either...  
"I think we have a Titan coming up on us." I said and paused, focusing on the direction of the shaking. "From the left." I elaborated and she brushed me off, telling me I was probably imagining it.

I fell back into line until we saw the Titan, moving towards us from the left. Mikasa looked at me. I looked back at her, watching her fire a red flare. She nodded slightly to me and I felt sick as the creature got closer. How was I supposed to go about this? There were no trees high enough to allow me to swing up and I swallowed hard as Mikasa tied Naya's reins to her saddle as I jumped and stood, gaining my balance before aiming for the Titan's shoulder and shooting the grappling hook, landing it in its arm. _"Close enough!"_ I thought as I allowed myself to swing around its body, just out of its grasp and using a bit of gas to shot me towards its neck, slicing it, cursing myself as I cut too shallow. _"Damn it!"_ I cursed myself as the momentum of the gas and my effort swung me towards the ground. I was about to try attacking again, when Reiner took care of it for me. Mikasa slowed before stopping, allowing us both to jump back on our horses before we started again.

I wasn't trembling as much, but I was shaken. I was surprised how... Oddly human the Titans looked. "Reiner!" Mikasa called and I looked to the blond as he shot a green flare and we veered to the left.

_"Maybe I won't get to see you today, Jackson..."_ I glanced up at the sky before taking a deep breath, looking ahead. My legs were screaming from how I was lifting myself just slightly off my saddle. _"If Levi hadn't been so fucking rough..."_ I thought as I leaned forward, my chest resting slightly against Naya's neck as we ran.

* * *

About an hour had past, and I had given up, sitting on the saddle, wincing every now and then. There had been no Titans for the last hour, which put me at ease, but I knew it wouldn't last forever. We had slowed our pace slightly, giving our horses a break, until we saw the black flare. A variant. Shit. "Speed up." Mikasa said as she fired the black flare. I gently dug my heel into Naya's side, urging her to go faster as we kept our eyes to the far left, where the first black flare had been fired.

I felt the vibrations and I tensed. "It's coming towards us!" I yelled to Mikasa who nodded and we urged our horses faster. They would eventually tire if we kept pushing them like this.  
I had been so focused on Naya that I didn't notice the variant on us. "Shit!" I screamed as its foot landed between me and Reiner. "Shit!" I screamed as we both tumbled off our horses. Mikasa and Armin continued on. Either they didn't notice we had fallen, or they assumed we would catch up. I attempted to sit up, but with the pain shooting through my side, I could barely breath. I held in a scream as I looked up, watching Reiner effectively dispose of the varient before coming to my side, rolling me onto my back. I gasped loudly as he touched my side.

"Feels like you broke a rib. That was a hard fall, and Naya landing on you couldn't have helped." He said and I looked at him. Naya landed on me? I looked over as Reiner gently helped me up. I winced as he helped me back onto Naya. "You're gonna be okay." he said as he climbed onto his own horse. I nodded.  
"I know." I said, hiding the sharp pain in my side as we started towards Mikasa and Armin. A green flare was shot and I replied with another green flare. If Mikasa or Amin replied, they would realize that the formation was broken.

I shook my head, almost screaming as my side throbbed. I closed my eyes, pressing my forehead to Naya's neck until I heard something shift behind me. I turned, expecting to see Reiner, but he was nowhere. "R-Reiner?" I called, nudging Naya faster, my heart suddenly pounding. Then I was being lifted up off Naya. "Naya!" I screamed, looking up to see a Titan. No... This wasn't a normal Titan... My mind went back to hearing about the Armored Titan... It was too short to be the Colossal. I swallowed roughly, quickly firing off a purple flare before its hand squeezed me. I felt my ribs crack again and then, everything went black.


	10. Chapter 10

_"Aria!" I looked up from my small pallet on the floor as Jackson ran towards me. He ruffled up my hair and I grinned up at him. He pulled me up, still in my nightgown. "I have something to tell you!" he grinned at me as I clutched the old, torn rabbit he had gotten me for my birthday the year before. I rubbed my eyes, still tired, my ribs hurt and I knew that I would be bruised, but I was so happy to see my older brother that none of that mattered.  
"What is it Jack?" I asked and he pressed a finger to his lips.  
"I can't tell you until we get to the church." he said, a grin across his face, making me grin. "Get dressed and meet me in the yard." he said and I nodded as he left my room. I hurridly pulled my clothes on before bolting out the door, ignoring my sister and parents, my hand still clutched around my rabbit until a hand grabbed my hair, yanking me backwards._

_"Where are you going?" my father snapped at me and I looked up at him.  
"Jackson is taking me to the church, father." I said softly, his hand still curled around my short blond hair. I stared at him and his eyes thinned.  
He shoved me forward. "Fine." he growled. As I walked out, I heard him speak to my mother. "She's got to go, Less." and I flinched before throwing myself at my brother who picked me up and slung me onto his back. _

_The looks we got from the villagers didn't bother me. They wouldn't hurt me if Jackson was here with me. I snuggled into his dark hair with a grin, my rabbit dangling from my hand, thumping against his chest as we walked. Once at the church, he sat me down at the alter and we both kneeled, whispering our prayers quietly before he turned to me. My eyes remained on the stained glass, the vision of their God staring back at me. "Hey Jack?" I mumbled, my voice uncertain.  
He pulled me against him, hugging me. "Yeah, Aria?" he asked softly.  
"Do you think God could save me?" I asked softly. He held me tighter, kissing my head. "I mean... I know what everyone thinks I'm gonna do... But I don' wanna hurt no one."  
He said nothing as he petted my hair. "Do you wanna hear my surprise?" he asked, avoiding my question. I nodded. "I'm going to go into training to join the military police... And I'm going to save up the money so you can move into the city with me." he whispered and I turned around, looking at him.  
"Really, Jack?" I asked. "You'd do dat?" I asked, excited.  
He opened his mouth, but for some reason, I couldn't hear him. I looked at him, his lips moving, but he was getting fuzzier and fuzzier. "Jack!" I yelled until I felt a sharp pain in my side._

* * *

"What're we supposed to do with her?" A familiar voice stirred me as I realized I was being held on a horse.  
"You really don't know who she is, do you?" Reiner? My ribs felt like they were trying to come out of my body. I groaned, attempting to sit up, only to slump back forward. "She's awake."  
"Reiner?" I asked, turning to look at him, then over to see Berlot holding onto... Was that Eren?  
Reiner's arm was around my waist. "How're your ribs?" he asked and I whimpered. That Titan had to broken another one... or two.  
I sat up again, trying to ignore my pain. "They hurt. That Titan... How did you get me away from it?" I asked and the two laughed. I looked at Berlot. Why were they laughing? God my ribs hurt so much.  
"Try to rest, Arabella. We're almost there." Huh? Almost where? Were we going back to the wall? I leaned back on Reiner, closing my eyes, I didn't know what they were talking about, but Reiner was my friend. He told me he wouldn't let me get hurt. I should have trusted him. I'd have to apologize later.

* * *

Levi looked towards the forest. They had stopped to see who was still with them. They were only missing four cadets. Reiner Braun, Berlot Hoover, Eren Yeager and Arabella Duluth. His eyes thinned slightly. The Armored Titan had been spotted, so it would be safe to say they were gone, but why would Eren not use his power? Levi's eyes thinned as he rode over to Erwin who was seeing who all had fallen. "Something isn't right." he said and Erwin looked at him.

"What do you mean?" he asked, attempting to put his emotions to the side and think logically.  
"Eren. If he had gotten captured, or in trouble, he could turn into a Titan, but we didn't see anything like that." he said and Erwin stared at him, thinking.  
"They might have gotten to him before-Ackerman!" Levi turned to see Mikasa taking off.  
He sighed softly. "I'll go after her." he said simply as he jumped on his horse, running after her.

* * *

I opened my eyes, my face in the grass. "Traitors!" Eren's voice made me try to sit up, but my hands were tied tightly behind my back, so I just flopped back to the ground. Why was Eren yelling at them? They saved our lives... "You... You traitors!" I winced as I heard an explosion. I looked up to see a Titan where Eren was... Right... I went to sit up when two more explosions made my eyes close. When they opened, I almost pissed myself. I stared at them... No... The Colossal Titan and Armored Titan stood before me. I bit my lip, tears welling in my eyes. I felt my heart race, my breathing turning into a pant as I rolled onto my stomach, hearing the Titans above me fighting. I tried to make as little noise as possible as I pulled my jacket so my hand was in its pocket. I grabbed the barbed wire heart, quickly sawing at the ropes binding my hands.

I don't know when I had started crying, but I dug my face into the grass to keep from completely sobbing. My body was reacting by itself, and I was trying so hard to ignore my ribs. I felt the ground vibrating and I screamed into the ground as the ropes finally broke. I stood, holding my sides as I reached t my belt my 3DMG was gone. Of course. I looked around, seeing a tree with branches _just_ low enough for me to climb. I jogged to it, slowly climbing, gasping as my ribs made me shake. My vision was blurring and black dots covered my line of sight.

_"Just keep moving... Keep moving. Don't stop. If you stop, you die." _I thought as I paused on a branch I couldn't. I couldn't keep going. Everything hurt so much... I lay on the branch, tears dripping down my face. "God... If you're there... My life sucked." I whispered, a sob escaping my throat. "So for once... Let me have a happy dream... Please." I whispered, closing my eyes, ready to let go and let whatever happened happen.

Then arms wrapped around my waist and I was flying. I opened my eyes, looking up. "Captain?" I gasped out, my eyes widening. Levi looked down at me. When we landed on a higher branch, he set me down gently.  
"What happened?" he asked. My eyes went to him.  
"I don't know, sir." I whispered. "I broke a few ribs... I blacked out... Reiner... Berlot..." I looked below us to see Mikasa and a few others helping Eren. Then pain shot through me as Levi pressed int my sides. I whimpered.  
He finally looked at my face. "You have more than a few broken ribs." he said and I nodded.  
I pointed to Eren. "You need to help him. I'm fine up here. I can't go anywhere." I whispered and he stared at me before nodding and going to assist Eren.

I watched the fighting before the pain overtook me again and everything went black once more.

* * *

Levi was about to attack the Armored Titan when a match dropped, the small flame expanding as it dropped, the fire surrounding both Reiner and Berlot. The cadets backed away, watching as the two burned, turning and retreating. What just happened? He looked up at Arabella. Her hand was draped over the branch. He thinned his eyes, looking to the grass where the fire had started surrounded the Titans. The grass wasn't burnt at all. He nodded to the cadets, signaling them to get out of the forest, Mikasa staying to help Eren out of his Titan body.

He scaled the tree once more, looking down at Arabella. She was out, but her matchbook was in her lap. Did she do that? He shook his head. Impossible. He lifted Arabella easily, careful not to jar her ribs.  
A million thoughts ran through his mind, but the main thought was how glad he was that Arabella was still alive. He looked down at the blond. She had grass stains and tear stains over her face, a little blood was dried at the corner of her mouth. He sighed softly as he started out of the forest, slightly behind the cadets, just in case they ran into trouble. They had lost a couple more before Reiner and Berlot had retreated.

Honestly, it was harder to believe that Berlot was one of them. Reiner was still surprising, but not as much. Levi had an assumption on who was who, but he wasn't certain. Arabella sighed against him and he looked down at her before smiling just slightly. She was alive.

* * *

_**Ughh... I don't know how I feel about how this turned out... I hope you guys liked it though...**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**I want to start this by completely APOLOGIZING for all of my grammatical errors in the last chapter. I re-read it and was cringing at every turn. Ughhh, I feel like I've failed you all!  
I hope this chapter makes up for it!**_

* * *

What is that? Something warm was wrapped around my hand. I opened my eyes slowly, grimacing at the light. Where was I? I fully opened my eyes, looking down at myself. My stomach was bandaged. I was in HQ... I could tell once I looked at the ceiling, the familiar cracks comforted me, but I didn't recognize this part. I looked to my hand. Another hand was loosely wrapped around it. I followed the arm to who it was. Levi... His head rested on the bed, his other hand under his head. I slowly sat up, wincing just slightly as I leaned against the wall behind me. I looked at Levi, moving my hand to his head, gently playing with his hair.  
What happened? I wracked my brain until it came back... Reiner... Berlot... No... My chest ached, but I said nothing as I continued playing with Levi's hair, closing my hand around his. He was alive... And uninjured... I smiled softly.  
"You're awake!" Hange's voice made me turn. Levi must have heard her because he sat up, looking behind him until he must have felt my hand around his and he turned to face me. I was looking at Hange as she walked over to me, sitting beside Levi and staring at me. "Are you hurting?" I shrugged. I tried to speak, but only hoarse squeak came out. Hange handed me a glass of water. I took it and chugged it like it was the tastiest thing I had ever drank.

"A bit." I finally answered. "But I'll be okay." I said and Hange nodded before looking to Levi who was glaring at her.  
She smiled at me, standing and patting my head softly. "I'm going to go get some bandages to change yours." she said, standing and exiting.  
I laughed softly before wincing. "You should lay back down." Levi stood to help me lay back down, but once he was over me, I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his chest. He tensed slightly before relaxing, wrapping his own arms around me.  
"Thank you." I whispered into his chest. I almost died. I gave up. I was okay with dying... I closed my eyes, holding him tightly. He said nothing, putting a hand on my head.

After a minute, he finally spoke. "I'm glad you didn't die." he mumbled, his breath against my hair. I leaned back, my hands on his shoulders. We looked at each other for a minute and I smiled.  
"I'm glad I didn't." I laughed a little, wincing again. He carefully moved me so I was laying. "Can I be on my side?" I whispered. "I want to be able to see you." I mumbled. Just seeing him comforted me. He had saved my life when I had given up on myself. He moved me to my side and sat down again, just looking at me. "How long have we been back in the walls?" I asked.  
He shrugged. "A week, give or take." he said and my eyes widened. Was he serious?  
Then I asked the question I was dying to know. "How long have you been here?" I mumbled.

"A week, give or take!" Hange's voice made me look up as she walked over, hauling me up, making me whimper. She unwrapped my bandages carefully.  
"Really?" I looked to Levi who was looking out the window. Was that a blush? No, I was probably imagining it.  
Hange was surprisingly gentle until the bandages were off and she froze. "Your scars..." she whispered. I looked down and my jaw slacked. They had faded somewhat. That was so odd... "This is wonderful!" she screamed, running her hands down my side, making me gasp.  
"Hange." Levi snapped, staring at her. She pulled her hand away.  
"Later." she said, nodding at me.

She wrapped my bandages, telling me about all the new things she was going to try before laying me down and leaving to get some things together.

I looked to Levi again. He turned his head back to me. I searched over his face before closing my eyes. "You've been sleeping for a week, Aria." I opened my eyes again and I smiled at him softly.  
I stared at him. "Why did you stay with me?" I asked softly.  
He said nothing for a minute before asking me a question. "Who is Jackson?" he asked and I frowned.  
"I asked you first." he cocked an eyebrow. "My older brother." I said gently. He nodded a little. "Why did you stay with me?" I asked again.

He stared at me. "I wanted to make sure Hange didn't hurt you."  
"Liar." I whispered. He couldn't hold my eyes when he spoke.  
He glared slightly. "I'm just very glad that you're alive." he mumbled and I smiled at him.  
"There's more though." I said softly.  
His glare intensified. I wasn't getting anymore out of him right now. And that was okay, I guess.

His hand found mine again and I smiled at him softly. "Thank you, Levi. Honestly." I mumbled. He shook his head.  
"When am I going to be able to actually get up?" I asked, yawning.  
"Hange said about another week." he said and I nodded.

* * *

About a week later, I was laying in my bed, snuggled around Levi. He had barely left my side since I woke up. I was thankful though. He had been a big help. He helped me up, he helped me back int bed, he was great. My head rested over his heart, listening to it beat.  
"When are you going to tell me what happened to you?" he asked and I flinched.  
"Why are you so curious?" I asked and he looked down at me, pulling me closer. I rolled my eyes, knowing I wasn't going to get my answer.

"Fine." I mumbled.

* * *

_"Today's the day." I heard my father say outside my door before Abigail, my older sister walked in. She had a box in my hand. I never got presents from her.  
__"This is from Daddy. For your birthday." she smiled at me and I took the box cautiously. Even at eight years old, I knew not to trust my father, but once I opened the box it was like the past was gone. This was the first year he'd gotten me a present and it was beautiful! It was a long white dress with a dark red sash. I couldn't hide my excitement as I changed into it, looking in the mirror and spinning around, my hair a tangled mess, but I didn't care! My father had just given me such a wonderful present!_

_"Brush your hair. We're going to church soon!" Abbey said with a smile before walking out._

_Once at the church, I sat, looking at the stained glass, Jackson on my side, a grin on my face. Then it happened. They called me to alter and I kneeled before the pastor until my hands were tied firmly behind my back, Jackson being brought before me as they ripped my dress from my back and sides, a knife in the pastor's hand. By then I was crying. "Your brother and you are very close, aren't you?" the pastor asked and I stared at Jack.  
__"Jack!" I whimpered, struggling against the ropes around my hands. I screamed as they slit his throat in front of me, leaning him over the pit, letting him bleed into it.  
__"The boy has paid for his sins! Now you." The pastor called and my father walked to me. I gasped. How had all this turned so bad so quickly?_

_I heard myself screaming as my father took the knife, carving into my back. By the time he was on my sides, I was in shock, making small gurgling noises. _

_Once the carvings were done, they hooked me to a ladder over the pit. I stared down at the pool of my brother's blood. My eyes moved to the side where my blood stained the carpet, small bits of my skin was scattered and I felt my heart fluttering, attempting to stop pumping. The pastor was preaching to everyone and my eyes went to my brother's body and then to my family, not a single tear in my eyes as the pastor took one of the torches off the walls and threw it into the pit. The clergymen behind me were about to untie me, but I blacked out._

* * *

I felt Levi's arms tighten around me and I looked up at him. His face was buried in my hair, though. I softly nuzzled his face. I turned my head, looking at him. He looked angry.  
"Now tell me... When I was unconscious. Why did you really stay with me?" he stared at me for a minute before leaning forward, pressing his lips against mine softly.

Wait, what?


	12. Chapter 12

I was stunned, but finally I slowly returned Levi's kiss, my heart swelling slightly. A lot of emotions were flooding my mind, my heart, but I couldn't help but smile into the kiss, moving my hands up his chest. After a couple of seconds, he pulled away, looking down at me. My eyes fluttered open and I stared up at him. He wasn't smiling, he was just looking at me. Finally I spoke. "Why'd you do that?" I breathed. It finally clicked that that was my first ever kiss. With my fucking captain. But right now he wasn't. He wasn't my superior. He wasn't my captain. He was just Levi.  
"Don't make me fucking spell it out for you." he mumbled, nudging my head down with his chin before resting his cheek on my head.  
I wrapped my arms around his torso, my forehead against his shoulder. "You realize that was my first kiss." I whispered to him.

He moved back, glancing down at me. He seemed surprised and I smiled softly. "I'm surprised you aren't angry, then." he said and I laughed, shaking my head.  
"No..." I trailed off. If it had been anyone else I would have been upset, but I wasn't. I couldn't explain it, but I wasn't upset in the slightest. I was happy. I snuggled into his chest again.  
He ran a hand through my hair, stopping at a tangle. "Tch. You need to cut your hair." he said and I rolled my eyes. "It gets tangled too easily and you bitch about not wanting to brush it." I said nothing still. "It would also be more practical." he said and I leaned back.

"Sasha, Krista and Ymir all have long hair and I don't see you on their case about their hair." I finally said, staring at him. He ran his fingers through my hair again.  
He looked to my face. "Maybe I want to see you with short hair." he said and I snorted. "Pig." he said and I slapped his chest, rolling over to face the wall.

I hated when he called me a pig when I snorted or sneered at him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my back against his chest, nipping my ear. "Don't be like that." he murmured and I rolled my eyes. I laughed as his hand went under my shirt and his nails lightly raked over my side, effectively tickling me.  
"Stop." I said, grabbing his hand and rolling onto my back, looking at him with a smile. "You're a jackass, you know that?" I laughed, smiling warmly at him as he nipped at my ear again before leaning away and looking down at me.

I hated how I couldn't stay upset with him. Throughout the week, he had done things for the sole purpose of irking me. He wouldn't let me clean, he would call me names, he would leave the room whenever Jean came to visit me, but every time I got upset with him, he would do or say something to make me smile or laugh and I would forget about the hurt or anger.  
I leaned up slightly, hesitating slightly and looking at him to gauge his reaction. He cocked an eyebrow, the corner of his lips curling slightly and I leaned towards him, gently brushing my lips against his.

He pulled me closer to him, making me jump and yelp a little as he pulled me on top of him, keeping our lips connected. I cared about him so much. I promised myself that I would never care about anyone else. I didn't want anyone else to hurt because of me. But this fucker waltzed into my life and my walls were cracking.  
I leaned away from him, our foreheads connecting. "I hate you so fucking much." I whispered as his hands slipped up my shirt, pulling it over my head.  
"Really?" he asked as he bit into my neck, making me arch against him. "You don't really act like you hate me." he said against my skin. I bit into my lip slightly, my hands firmly on his chest as his hands moved down to chest, his hand pausing for only a second over my heart before moving lower to my breast.

"Hang on." I leaned back, sitting up straight, looking at him. "Hange never said I was okay to be having sex again." I pointed out and he reached forward, taking the back of my head and pulling me over him again.  
We looked into each other's eyes for a minute before he finally spoke. "I'm not going to hurt you." he whispered, his hand moving to cup my cheek. "No slapping or choking or being tied up."  
"Gentle." I said and he nodded.  
I smiled at him a little, leaning against his hand. "I didn't know you were capable of being gentle."  
He looked up at me, like I was the most fragile thing in the world, like I would shatter if he was too rough with me. He was struggling with his words. I'd only seen him like this a few times, but I loved it. "When you care about someone enough, you find a way to be gentle." he mumbled and I stared at him, stunned once more. I smiled slightly before nodding, leaning down again and pressing my lips firmly against his.

* * *

Levi looked down at Arabella as she snuggled against his chest, still asleep. She was smiling in her sleep. That was a first. He ran a hand through her hair gently as the sun poured into the room. It was strange. The night before seemed like a blur, but he remembered every second of it. He leaned his head gently on Arabella's head, closing his eyes again. She was planning on taking a trip into the city today, she had been complaining about how she was so bored. He had told her he was going to go with her. After all, she still wasn't really ready to be walking around on her own yet.

"Levi?" Arabella's voice made him jump slightly and he looked down at her. She looked cute, staring up at him like a child and he flinched slightly at the thought. The age difference between them never bothered him until after they had finished having sex. It took him longer to think about it this time though. She was over ten years his junior after all. "Levi?" she said again and he looked down at her once more.  
"Hm?" he watched her yawn, snuggling against his chest.  
"Are you alright?" She mumbled. He nodded, leaning down and kissing her head. She sat up, wincing slightly.

Levi watched her, his eyes on her back. "Did I hurt you?" he asked and she shook her head, turning and smiling at him.  
"No." she said, but he was lying. "You need to go get dressed if you're coming to the city with me today!" she said as she got up. Why was she so happy this morning? She was never this excited during the mornings.

He groaned as he forced himself out of the bed, looking at her as she pulled on her underwear before rummaging through the closet. He walked behind her, carefully turning her around and pulling her against him, kissing her firmly. She was under his skin and he didn't know what to do about it anymore. He'd given up on trying to understand why she made these emotions boil inside him, but she did. He'd finally accepted that.  
She smiled against his lips as she returned his kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck, on the tips of her toes just to reach him. She pulled away, grinning up at him. That fucking grin. He smiled just slightly before pulling away.  
"Are you going to get dressed?" she asked and he rolled his eyes.

"No shit. I'm not going to let you go on your own." he said and she huffed at him before pulling an outfit out of her closet before going to shower.

* * *

_**Sorry for the short chapter! The complex is having an inspection tomorrow and on top of that I have to work tomorrow so I have to clean and get to bed! But I wanted to give you a chapter before tomorrow because I love you all very much!  
**_


	13. Chapter 13

I grinned as I stood in front of Levi's door, knocking on it twice. "I don't know why you insist on knocking." his voice called and I laughed, walking in. He was pulling on his shirt when I walked in and I sat on his bed with a small smile. He glanced to me before back to his button and then back to me. I blushed a little as he looked at me. I don't know why he was staring at me. "You look good in blue." he said before looking back to his shirt. I looked down at my shirt. It wasn't anything extravagant, just a soft blue shirt and black shorts.  
"Thank you." I grinned as he slipped his shoe on, sighing as I jumped up. "Ready?" I asked, grabbing his hand and walking out.  
"Looks like I have to be." he groaned.

* * *

I smiled as I walked down the street, Levi close behind me. There were a few whispers, but I paid them no mind as I paused at a little stall, the man sitting behind his products had a hug grin on his face. There were bracelets, necklaces, rings. My eyes went over a few of them, my hands behind my back, Levi standing to my left as I looked at a necklace. I straightened and picked it up, running the chain softly between my fingers, looking at it.  
"Lovely, isn't it?" The man said and I smiled at him, nodding as I looked at the small stone hanging from it. "Genuine ruby right there." he said and I smiled.  
"It's beautiful." I said before looking at the small piece of paper hanging from it with the price scribbled on it. I flinched slightly, carefully setting it down before continuing down the street.

Levi looked at me from my side. "Is it what you were expecting?" he asked and I shrugged.  
"I mean, it's better than sitting around doing nothing." I said as I walked. He rolled his eyes and I laughed softly. "It would probably be better if I was wealthier and able to actually buy things." I teased as I passed by another stall with clothes hanging up. I took a step away from it. I wasn't particularly one who enjoyed shopping for clothes. I hated it, really.  
"Well, it's not like you can do this every day. And you can't return to training until next week, so you'll have to figure out something to do." he said as I pulled a cigarette out and lighting it.

I shrugged a little. "I mean I can always find _people_ to do." I teased, jumping as his arms wrapped around my waist. I never took him to be one for public displays of affection.  
His mouth was right beside my ear. "You shouldn't do that." he growled before letting me go. I turned and looked at him with a small smile.  
"I don't know why the fuck you're getting upset." I said, blowing smoke at him, making him glare. "You have no hold on me, Levi." I pointed out and he rolled his eyes. But he did. He was under my skin. I didn't want anyone else in any way except for him.  
He smirked slightly. "I think I have more of a hold on you than you realize." he said and I cocked an eyebrow at him. The fuck did that mean?

I shook my head and turned to walk forward until I heard soft crying. Huh? I turned to the right, seeing a little boy. He couldn't be older than three or four. I tossed my cigarette down, snuffing it out and walking to the child, a surprised Levi following. "Hey there." I said, kneeling down to his level. Levi stood behind me as the little boy looked up at me. I loved kids. They were so innocent. I had always wanted children when I was younger, promising myself that I would be a wonderful mother. Better than my mom at the very least. But I couldn't bring a child into a world like this... No matter how bad I wanted to. It wouldn't be fair to the children.

"Are you okay?" I asked the boy as he sniffled. He shook his head. "What's wrong, buddy?" I kept my voice gentle.  
His body jumped as he held back tears. "I wost m-my mom." he started crying again and I smiled, putting a hand on his head.  
"How did you lose her?" I asked.  
He rubbed his eyes. "I was jus walking and I wet go of her so I could go look at foower I saw and when I turned around, she was gone!" he sniffled  
I nodded a little, giving him a smile. "Well, how about I help you find her?" I asked softly. "What does she look like?"

He rubbed the tears away, sniffling still. "She's reawy taw and she gots bwack hair and she's really pretty." he said and I nodded. "I'm Andrew." he said and I grinned.  
"Well, Andrew, I'm Arabella, and that's Levi." I motioned towards Levi who was just watching us. I stood, taking the little boy's hand.

* * *

Levi watched as Arabella walked with the little boy, talking to him as they tried to find his mother. It was strange how comfortable she was with the child. She was so happy and gentle with him. She'd be a wonderful mother one day. He shook his head a little as a woman ran towards them, the little boy running to her, calling for her. The woman picked him up, hugging him tightly, tears in her eyes.  
"Oh my baby." she kissed his head and Arabella turned to Levi with a grin. "Thank you so much!" the woman looked to Arabella who shook her head.  
"Oh no, ma'am. It was really my pleasure. Your son is absolutely wonderful." Arabella smiled as Andrew turned his head to smile back at her. Arabella waved at him carefully.  
He waved back at her. "Bye-bye Miss Arabewa." he grinned and Levi heard her giggle as the pair walked away.

She turned back to Levi before pausing. "What?" she asked. Levi chuckled, shaking his head.  
"You." he said simply and she rolled her eyes at him before taking his hand and dragging him to another stall, looking at the fruits with a grin.  
Levi's free hand slipped into his pocket, fiddling with the chain in it.

He watched Arabella as she continued walking, their hands still wrapped around each other. He didn't pull his away though, even with people looking at them. He enjoyed feeling her skin against his own. It sent shock waves through him. He looked at her, wondering if it did the same to her.

After another hour of looking around, Levi squeezed her hand softly. "We need to get back soon." he said and she nodded.  
"Yeah... I'm getting a little tired, to be completely honest." she said, looking up at him with a smile. "Thank you for coming with me, Levi." she said happily and he looked down at her, nodding slightly.  
"You don't have to thank me." he said and she shrugged at him a little.

* * *

I yawned as I lay on my bed, waiting for Levi to finish his shower and join me. I looked up as my door opened, Levi walking in, his hand closed into a fist. "How was your shower?" I asked as he sat beside me.  
"Relaxing." he said, looking at me.  
I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm never relaxed." I mimicked him. He shook his head a little before taking my hand and opening it. "Hm?" I looked at him as he dropped something into my hand.

I looked into my palm and my eyes widened. "Levi!" I sat up, looking at the necklace in my hand. He smirked slightly. "You shouldn't have gotten this." I mumbled as he took it from me, moving my hair before clasping it around my neck. My hand lifted to the ruby hanging at the base of my collar bone. "When did you get it? You were with me the entire time!" I looked at him.  
"When you were walking away." he shrugged.  
I grinned, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you so much." I said as I buried my face into his neck. He turned his head slightly, kissing my cheek. "But why did you get it? It was so expensive." I said softly, leaning back.

He shrugged a little. "You liked it." he said as though it was nothing. I smiled at him.  
"But..." he leaned over, kissing me softly, shutting me up.  
After a couple of seconds he pulled away. "Now will you shut up about it?" he asked and I laughed a little, resting my head on his shoulder. "Everyone's drinking tonight." he sighed and I looked up at him. "We got a shipment today." he said and I smiled.  
"I'm down for drinking." I said with a grin.


	14. Chapter 14

I was grinning at Hange as she explained a few of her experiments to me. Even while drunk that's all she seemed to care about. "See, I have this gel that I've made that I could use on your scars! It burns, but that's just the healing process!" her words were slurring and I just nodded a little, glancing towards the door to see if Levi had come back yet. Nope. He had left about an hour ago and I was starting to wonder if he had passed out in his room. I slowly stood, putting a hand on Hange's shoulder.  
"I'm going to go check on Levi and make sure he's not throwing up." I said with a small smile as I walked out, stumbling just slightly. I was a little buzzed, but nothing that would give me a hangover in the morning, and I still managed to walk down the hall perfectly fine.

Levi's door was cracked just slightly and I went to knock when I remembered what he had said to me this morning. I smiled softly before pushing it open just a little. "Lev-" I felt my breathing catch in my throat as I took a step back from the door. Did I really just see that? I glanced in once more and almost winced. Yes. Yes I did. I put my hand over my chest before taking a few steps back before pausing. I felt numb... I glanced at the door for a moment. He was having sex, of that I was 100% sure, drunk, sloppy sex... but sex. But with who? I was half tempted to open the door a little more and try to see the girl's face, but I shook my head. "I think I'm going to throw up." I whispered before walking down the hall, hand over my mouth.  
I had a lot of emotions bubbling, but the one that came to the front the most was hurt. My hand moved from my mouth to the necklace and I took a deep breath.

"Cares about me my ass." I whispered, pulling it off, effectively snapping the clasp and letting it drop to the floor. I was conflicted, though, as I walked to my room, snatching my cigarettes and stumbling outside. He said he cared about me, but that's all he said. After all, he was my captain, it was obvious he would care about his cadets. But then why did he act so tender towards me sometimes? And why did he get upset with the thought of me sleeping with other people?

I sat down on the stump and brought my leg up to my chest as I lit a cigarette. I rested my chin on my knee and looked into the forest. What the fuck? I closed my eyes. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel... I felt dumb. For letting him get too close, under my skin and through the tough walls I built up... I shook my head a little, trying to shake away the small tear forming in the corner of my eyes. It didn't matter. And I wasn't going to let this get me down. I sat up, taking a deep breath. Then I heard footsteps.  
"Drop something?" Levi's words slurred as I turned to look at him. I looked him over before tossing my cigarette down and snuffing it out, bitting hard on my tongue to keep from saying anything. I turned on heel and walked past him and inside.

I felt his eyes follow me, but I kept my head up, gritting my teeth. "Aria?" he said, but I continued walking until arms wrapped around my neck. Hange was burying her face into my hair.  
"Arabella." she groaned. "Come on, you're missing the party." she groaned and I smiled at her, hearing Levi close behind us. I wrapped my arm around Hange's waist, hoisting her up so she was standing a bit taller.  
"I think it might be time for you to go to bed, Hange." I said and she shook her head, dragging me back into the dining hall.

* * *

My head was pounding as I fumbled around to get my pants off, trying to crawl into my bed until I feel face-first into the floor. Or I would have, but arms caught me, helping me onto my bed and carefully sliding my pants down. I yawned, assuming Krista or someone had come up to help me. I smiled and looked up as arms landed on either side of my head. My smile faded.  
"Can you not get the hint that I don't want to see you right now?" I grumbled as I tried to scoot away from him.  
Levi looked down at me, glaring a little. He seemed a bit more sober, but his breath still reeked of alcohol, as did mine, most likely. "I understand that. But I want to know why." he said, his knees closing my legs together, trapping my under him. I huffed and turned my head to the side.

"Go away." I mumbled, closing my eyes, wincing as he grabbed my face, turning me to face him. I opened my eyes and stared up at him. I wanted him out. I wanted him away from me.  
He ran his thumb along my cheekbone and I pushed his hand away. "Aria-"  
"Get the fuck out, Levi!" I finally snapped, sitting myself up. "Get the fuck out!" I screamed at him, balling up my fist and punching his chest. "Get out." my voice cracked as he watched me. He opened his mouth and I shook my head.

"You're an awful person." I mumbled, shaking my head. "I trust someone for the first time in years, I feel actual emotions for the first time in _years_ but obviously you _don't_ care about me. At all." Oh I was going to throw up. I shoved him, but he didn't move. "I saw you." I finally mumbled. The room was spinning.  
Levi just stared at me for a moment before sighing, leaning back and pulling me up. "You look like you're going to throw up." he whispered, leading me to the bathroom.

After vomiting a few times, Levi holding my hair back before handing me a glass of water. I glared at him from the bathroom floor as he leaned against the sink.  
I held the glass in my hands as I looked at the floor. "I care about you." I whispered. "I haven't cared about anyone like this before." I admitted, the alcohol loosening my lips. He kneeled beside me, turning my head to face him.  
He searched my eyes for a minute before running a hand through my hair. "I care about you, Arabella." he whispered. I looked at him. Then why? "I don't handle these kinds of emotions well. I don't." I watched him. His lips formed into a small line before opening his mouth. "I don't know how to handle this." he looked at me.

We sat there for a what felt like hours. "That's not my fault." I finally said. "And it doesn't justify you toying with me." I whispered as I stood up. "Now if you don't mind. I need to go to bed. I'll see you when Hange releases me for training, Captain." I said as I walked to my bed, snuggling under the blankets. I heard him walking into the room, pausing for a moment, setting something down before walking out.

My chest ached and I shook my head. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt me like that again. I couldn't let anyone in. I just had to accept that I am going to be alone all my life. Just like the church said.


	15. Chapter 15

I laughed as Hange prodded my sides. It had been another week, and she was checking the progress of my ribs healing. She looked up at me as I giggled and squirmed around as she felt my ribs. "Everything feels good!" she said and I giggled.  
"It doesn't hurt anymore." I said as I set my feet back on the ground. She nodded as she stood back, letting me stand.  
She looked me over before nodding. "You should be fine to go back to training." she said and I almost frowned before thanking her and walking out, lacing my fingers behind my head. I'd only seen Levi briefly over the week. And he refused to look at me. I was okay with that. I had gotten over the sick feeling, but it still hurt a little. It was mostly anger now.

I walked to my room and flopped down on my bed, looking over to my table where the necklace was still where Levi had left it. I watched it shine in the sunlight before rolling onto my side and facing the wall. Asshole. I looked up at my door opened. Krista walked in, her cheeks bright red, sweat dripping down her face. I sat up. "Hey." I said as she sat down in the chair across from me.  
"Hey." she panted.  
I looked her over for a minute. She looked rough. "You okay?" I asked and she nodded.  
"Yes. Captain Levi's just been really hard on us. When are you coming back?" she asked and I smiled softly.  
"Tomorrow." I said as I crossed my legs.

Krista and I had become friendly. She was a very sweet girl, the air of innocence around her put me at ease.  
"I'm glad you're healed up enough to come back..." she said and I nodded softly. Her eyes went to my desk, looking over the necklace and picking up a sketching. "Wow." she said softly, looking at it. It had been a bird I'd seen on the window ledge a few days ago. "This is amazing." she turned towards me and I blushed.  
"Thanks. It's the only thing I'm really good at." I rubbed the back of my head and she put it down, turning back to me.  
She took a deep breath, fanning her face. "Are you hungry?" she looked at me and I nodded slightly. "Come on. I think it's time for dinner." she said and I stood as she did.

We walked down the hall quietly until she spoke up. "Hey Arabella?" she asked softly. I looked at her. "You've been acting funny this past week, are you okay?" she asked and I nodded slightly.  
"I am... I'm just a little down is all." I said and she turned to look at me.  
"You shouldn't be. Your birthday is coming up, isn't it?" she asked and I held back a flinch, nodding. "How old are you going to be again?" she asked and I smiled softly.  
"Twenty-two." I said gently.  
She smiled softly. "You know, our leave starts on the 11th, are you going home?" she asked and I had to hold back another flinch.

"No, my home was inside Wall Maria." I said softly, not giving the details of what had actually happened. To be honest, I didn't know what actually happened. I just knew that when I woke up, I was laying in the pit, covered in my brothers blood and the walls of the church, as well as the village scorched around me.  
She nodded slightly. "I'm sorry." she said gently. "But we should do something. I don't have anywhere to go either." she looked up at me.  
I thought for a minute. I hadn't done anything for my birthday in years... It could be fun. "Sure, we'll have to think of something to do." I said with a warm smile.

* * *

Levi glanced up just slightly as Arabella walked in, Krista close at her side. The two were smiling at each other and talking. He shook his head a little, turning back to the table until he felt Hange's breath on the side of his face. He turned to her, cocking an eyebrow. "Have you talked to her?" she asked and He rolled his eyes. "Take that as a no." she said as she crossed her arms. "You know, if you talked to her-"  
"I tried to talk to her." he said and Hange sighed, tapping his head with her napkin.  
"When her emotions were all out of line anyway, and she was drunk." she looked at Levi who looked back to Arabella who sat snuggly in between Krista and Armin.

Hange was still staring at him and he looked towards her. "You really screwed up." she finally said and Levi stood up, walking out.

He knew he had screwed up. He had hurt Arabella without even giving it a second thought, but now he was regretting it. He never thought of himself as one to get attached to anyone. He had only been attached to one person and she had ended up dying. He shook his head a little as he walked outside, sitting on the stump and looking into the forest. He crossed his arms, thinking until he heard small footsteps behind him. He turned and Arabella stood there, looking at him.  
"Captain." she said formally. "Hange has given me permission to resume my training." she said, her eyes never wavering from his. She didn't have the playful, gentle tone he had become accustom to. She was formal, stiff, even.  
He nodded slightly. "Is that all?" he asked, wondering if that was really all she wanted to say to him.

Her dark eyes glanced over his face for a minute before nodding. "Yes, sir." she said simply before turning and walking back inside. Levi watched her before slowly turning back to the forest.

* * *

"Don't stop, Duluth." Levi's voice set a fire off in my stomach as I panted, on my hands and knees on a branch. Fuck him. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you so much. I growled as I stood back up, jumping forward and continuing grappling from branch to branch, shortly behind Connie. We had been in the forest for hours. If it wasn't for the coverage, I would be sunburnt all over. It was so hot and everyone was getting tired, sloppy.

What was Levi looking to gain from this? We weren't allowed a fucking break. Not even to catch our breaths. All I wanted to do was cut Levi down, but that was a bad idea and I knew it. He was stronger than me, maybe not faster, but that was only useful if I was evading him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of me giving up, of me crumbling to the ground in a sweaty, panting heap. I urged myself faster as we went through the forest, easily passing Connie and Armin, catching up quickly with Krista and Ymir.

Krista turned and smiled at me weakly and I returned it before hurrying forward, catching, and surpassing Mikasa. I was in the lead now, everyone following slowly behind me.

Who knows how much longer we were out there, but by the time Levi ordered us to stop, my legs and core muscles screamed. I stood up straight though, as he dismissed us. I took a deep breath as he turned away. That was intense. I turned, heading back inside, pausing to wait for Krista. She looked awfully tired. I smiled at her gently as we started walking, Ymir following us with ease.  
"Does anyone know what his problem is?" Ymir asked and I looked up at her, shrugging.  
"Who knows?" I yawned, but I noticed the way Krista glanced up at me and I shifted slightly.

If I was his fucking problem then he can kiss my ass and get the fuck over it. He shouldn't let emotions get in the way of training his cadets.  
I frowned a little. Maybe I should talk to Commander Smith. Give me back to Hange. I shivered at the thought before rejoining Ymir and Krista's conversation. Feeling eyes on my back, I turned, seeing Levi watching me. I looked at him for a minute before turning back to my friends. It was easier to call them that. I almost glared at him, but that would do me no good. I just had to push my anger down. I was good at that. I pushed everything down. It was so much easier than trying to talk to anyone... Maybe that would end up being my undoing...

I shook my head at the thought. That was ridiculous. I was perfectly fine.


	16. Chapter 16

I pressed my forehead against the wall of my shower, hot water running over my shoulders, my aching back and legs. Blood mixed with with water and flowed down the drain as I closed my eyes. I ached all over, the training had hurt. Especially after such a long hiatus. I slowly slid down to the floor, holding my legs to my chest, looking to my sides. They were bleeding again. I sighed, water shooting from my lips as I closed my eyes. I felt like I was crumbling, but I wasn't going to show it to anyone. Crumble when I'm alone. In private, but when in the company of others, stand tall and proud.

The water turned cold slowly, but I didn't want to move. My legs hurt, my back hurt, my hips felt like they were dislocated. I was almost asleep in the shower when the bathroom door opened. I glanced up through the water and glared slightly, resting my head back on the wall, staying curled up. "Can you not?" I whispered softly. Levi said nothing as he reached over and turned the water off before taking the towel that I had hung up and unfolding it, holding it out towards me. I glanced at him for a moment before standing and taking the towel, wrapping it around me. Could he not leave me alone? Honestly? His face made me angry at this point.  
"You're bleeding." he said and I almost rolled my eyes. No Shit.  
"Thank you for informing me." I said as I looked at him. I realized just how cold I was and I glanced to the door. "Can I get dressed?" I asked, crossing my arms.

He looked me over for a second. "Leave your shirt off." he said and I shook my head.  
"I don't need your help. I've dealt with this for almost nine years, Captain." I said and he just stared at me. "If you don't mind, I would like to get dressed and go to bed." I said, but he didn't budge. I sighed. "Fine." I whispered. I wasn't going to win. I never would. I wanted him out from under my skin. I wanted him to be my superior and _only_ my superior. He walked out, but not out of the bedroom. I closed the bathroom door, getting dressed with minor difficulty, leaving my shirt off and carrying it with me into the bedroom. He already had everything on my desk, the necklace in his hands, running his fingers through the chain.

It was almost as though he had been hoping my scars were open. He glanced up at me as he stood up. I sat down, looking down at my feet as he kneeled in front of me. "Hold on." he said and my hands went to the chair under me, holding on tightly. He paused for a moment before pressing the cloth to my side. I gasped a little, biting my lip until Levi pulled it from my teeth. He moved to my other side, and then my back until bandaging me, but he didn't move, so I didn't.

I felt his hand move to my hair and I stood. "Don't." I mumbled as I pulled on my shirt. I turned to face him as he stood. "Listen." I crossed my arms, looking at him. How could he think I was perfectly okay with having him treat me the way he did after... I shook my head. "Don't do that. Don't call me Aria. Don't come and talk to me unless you're giving me an order. Don't concern yourself with me except when I am training or we're on a mission. You didn't concern yourself with me before, so don't now." I looked at him, watching as he listened to my words.  
He opened his mouth to speak but I shook my head. "No." I said, looking at him. "I don't want to hear anything from you. I don't want to hear why. I don't want to hear anything that's about to come out of your mouth right now unless it's 'okay'." I stared at him.

We just looked at each other until he looked down and to the side, a small sign of submission. "Okay." he said finally, turning to walk out.

I watched him leave before sitting on my bed. My chest ached, but I also felt good. I felt like I was going to be okay. I stood up for myself to Levi, and that took some fucking balls.

* * *

Levi watched Arabella closely as she ran beside Krista, which was unusual for her. She was usually the one leading the group, at the front, chest out, that stupid grin on her face, but she wasn't today. She was running, but every now and then her hand went to her side and she had a slightly pained expression on her face, but she never complained, she never gave any signs of stopping. Even as the other cadets slowed to a jog, she continued running, stopping only when he ordered them to the ground for push-ups or sit-ups.

Her ribs must have healed better than expected, for her to push on like this. Krista, on the other hand was panting, and when she slowed to a jog, Arabella slowed with her, looking at her, concerned. Though he couldn't hear them, he assumed Arabella asked her if she was alright. Krista nodded and Ymir turned to them, saying something to make them both smile slightly before Arabella pushed on, keeping pace with Armin now.

He crossed his arms, as he glanced to the sky. The sun would set soon. "Alright." he yelled towards them, watching a few cadets, mainly Sasha and Connie collapse to the ground, panting. Arabella stood straight, but her body shook. She was aching.  
Levi waved his hand, dismissing them and watching Arabella walk to Sasha, taking her hand and helping her up, saying something to her and smiling as Sasha nodded several times.

"You're pushing them pretty hard. Are you wanting to get some hard training in before leave?" Hange's voice made Levi turn.  
"Yes." he said simply.  
"Liar." she yawned before walking to Arabella, snatching her hand and hauling her away, explaining something to her before they disappeared.

A few hours later, he was about to head back inside when he smelled smoke. Nothing should be on fire... He turned, seeing the smoke coming from where Hange did all of her experiments. That wouldn't be unusual, but this actually smelled like fire. He sighed a little, weighing his choices before deciding it would be best to make sure nothing was still on fire.

Hange had already snuffed out the fire by the time he got there, it was very hot, but nothing had a trace of being on fire. Aria was laying on a table, her hands hanging off, a match book in her hands. "What happened?" Levi asked, looking at Hange who was unbuttoning Arabella's shirt.  
She glanced at him for a minute before grinning. "I wanted to recreate what happened in the forest." she said simply and Levi looked at her, not really understanding what she meant. "You told me she had her match book in her hand when she passed out, and shortly afterwards, the two Titans were on fire." she said and Levi nodded. "So, I put her matchbook in her hand and knocked her out." What?

She pointed to the table to her left, books and a lamp sitting on it. "She struck the match when I went to hit her temple to knock her unconscious, and the entire table was on fire." she said, her eyes wide. Levi looked to Arabella. "She's the one who did it..." she said. "But I have to figure out why. And why the fire didn't damage anything. And also." she pulled Aria's shirt away from her side. Her scars looked like they were receding. "Why are her scars fading when this happens?" she looked at Levi who was staring at the scars.

What did all this mean. "I wish..." Hange slowly buttoned Arabella's shirt back. "Her village hadn't burned down. I'm wondering if their religious texts have anything about this in them. If so... They might be bound in truth." she said and Levi thinned his eyes a little. "I also wonder if she was the one who caused the fire..." she looked to Levi who looked to Arabella's face.

She couldn't be capable of burning an entire village down. Especially at eight years old. His mind whirled, but when he spoke, Hange was surprised. "Is she going to have a headache when she wakes up?" he asked and Hange nodded.  
"A bit." she said  
He sighed a little. "I'm going to take her to her room. Did you tell her what you were doing?" Hange shifted from one foot to the other.

"No." she looked down at him. "But if I had told her, I might not have gotten that reaction out of her. She was reacting on instinct. She was in danger." Hange said and Levi rolled his eyes, lifting Arabella up.

If she reacted like that when she was in danger, she wouldn't have gotten kidnapped by Reiner. She wouldn't have let her horse fall on her. Hange was working purely on speculation... But then that wasn't that unusual for her.

* * *

I groaned as I lifted a hand to my head, my eyes cracking open just a sliver. I saw Levi and blinked my eyes open. "What happened?" I groaned, sitting up, a pain shooting from the back of my head to my left eye.  
"Hange knocked you unconscious." he said and I looked him over for a second. "You shouldn't move too much. Here." he handed me a glass of water that I drank slowly. It was chalky. Hopefully from a painkiller.  
"How did I get in my room?" I mumbled, handing the glass back to Levi as I lay back down.  
He glanced at me. "I carried you up here." he said and I looked at him.

He didn't look right. Maybe it was my head, but he looked either upset or unhappy. Maybe a mixture of both. I sighed softly. I hated him so much... "Thank you." I mumbled softly. I hate myself more for wanting the kindness he showed me back.

* * *

_**Sorry if there are grammatical errors! I have been in Atlanta all day with my brother and my son! And the last few hours of the visit, my son was inconsolable so I couldn't leave until about 10:30 and it's a 2 hour drive back home. So I'm more than a little tired, but I wanted to give you guys at least one chapter tonight!  
**_

_**Reviews are always welcome! They help me keep writing!**_


	17. Chapter 17

I watched Levi as he explained what had happened with Hange. I was confused. I set one of her desks on fire? I rested my cheek on my hand, watching him as he organized my desk. I would just clutter it up again soon, so I don't know why he was doing that. "I don't get it." I sighed, moving my shirt and looking at my scars. They were smaller. Not as ugly anymore, that was for sure. But still there...  
"She wants to know about your village's religion, oddly." he said and I shook my head a little.  
"I don't see why, they were fucked up." I mumbled as he finished working on my desk and turned back to me.

He looked over my face as I traced my scar softly. "Aria." I glared at him.  
"Don't call me that." I said simply. We were conversing, but that didn't mean I was okay with him. I was far from okay with him still.  
He looked to the floor. He was struggling for words and I almost smiled. "I don't think you really understand why I had sex with Clara."  
I looked at him. Clara? Really? First of all, she was forty. Second of all, no I didn't understand. How would I understand that? "Nope." I said, rolling to my back. "I understand why people have sex. What I _don't_ understand is how one can say how much they care about someone and then the next minute, fucking someone else. _That_ is what I don't understand, Captain." I said as I looked to the ceiling.

"You also don't understand how difficult this is for me." I turned towards him again, taking a deep breath while deciding to hear him out. "First of all, you're my cadet." I closed my eyes, rolling them behind my eyelids. "Second of all, I've been through this before." At that I opened my eyes. "I cared for her, and shortly after she joined my squad, she was killed."  
"Petra Ral." I'd heard about her before. I watched him flinch slightly, but said nothing else as he nodded.  
He struggled for words. "But what's... confusing me the most is the age difference." Excuse the fuck out of me? He must have seen the look on my face because he elaborated. "You're over ten years younger than me, _anything_ between us would be frowned upon." he stopped and I stared at him, waiting for more, but the look on his face told me there was no more.

Finally I sighed, looking down. "I don't know if you're looking for me to pity you, or understand you... But I don't. I don't understand, and I'm not going to." I looked at him. "I don't think you understand _me_." I sat up, facing him. "I'm not going to come flocking back to you and say that everything you do is perfectly alright and you're justified in all your actions because you had a hard life and you lost the girl you loved. No. You fucked up. You hurt me." I looked him over and he obviously didn't like anything I was saying. "I have more respect for _myself_ than to put myself back into that position and the only way I know how to get out of that position is to push you away." I opened my door.

"I don't want to hurt you... But I have to take care of myself first, Captain. I'm not playing your games. I'm not getting hurt again. You can leave. Please." I watched him stand and walk towards me.  
He looked down at me for a moment, leaning down and pressing his lips against my forehead, but I ducked away from him. "Now." I whispered, looking to my feet. I felt his eyes on me before he finally walked out. Maybe that would make him leave me alone. God I hoped so.

* * *

I groaned as the blinds to my window was pulled open. "Good morning!" Krista's voice made me smile slightly as I sat up.  
"Morning." I groaned. I scratched my head as she sat on the chair in front of my desk.  
"Today's the first day of leave! Aren't you glad?" she sighed, rubbing her shoulder. I nodded laying on my side and snuggling back into my blankets. "Captain Levi pushed us so hard yesterday." she frowned and I nodded a little.

"He did." I mumbled. My whole body ached. "What're you planning on doing today?" I asked and she shrugged a little.  
"I'm going to say goodbye to a few people and probably rest some more. You?" she asked and I shrugged.

"Sleep more." I laughed as I nuzzled my pillow. She smiled at me warmly. I looked at her for a second. "Can I tell you something and you not tell anyone?" I asked and she nodded.

I had thought a lot last night about home and I had made up my mind after hearing what Hange had said. "I'm going to try to get back to my home village tomorrow." I whispered and she stared at me.  
"But Arabella, that's Titan territory now!" She whispered back. I nodded.  
"I know, but there are a few things that I need to find out. And I don't think Commander Smith would agree to it, because everything was burnt down." I looked at Krista, frowning. "I need to know if what they said was true." I mumbled and Krista watched me, struggling for a moment.

Finally she spoke. "How are you going to get outside the wall?" she asked gently.  
I had thought about this too. "I'm going to scale it." I said and she shifted.  
"Please don't do this, Aria. You'll get killed." she stared at me, her eyes wide.  
"I have to. I'll be okay." I stared at my friend. She looked at me silently. "I'll be okay. I'll be back before sun up. My village wasn't too far from the inner wall." I smiled at her.

She took a deep breath before standing and walking to me. I sat up and hugged her tightly. I rubbed her back. "I'll be fine, Krista. Don't worry about me, okay?" I mumbled as she nodded against my neck.  
"You better be." she whispered, leaning back and smiling at me, but I could tell she was worried. She had a right to be. We were friends and I had just told her I was going outside the wall on my own. But I had to tell someone. Just in case something _did_ happen. Just in case I _wasn't _back before sun up. And I'm sure she understands that.

I hope she did.


	18. Chapter 18

I took a deep breath as I sneaked outside silently, my hood over my head as I hurried into the stables, pulling Naya into the training forest where I would hop onto her back and bolt towards the wall. I would tie her up, scale the wall and to my home I would go. Titans were generally less active at night, so I wasn't too awfully worried about them. I was more worried about what I would find when I got to the village. I know what I _should_ find. Nothing. But I had an awful feeling that I was going to find something.

I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't realized that I had made it to the wall until Naya stopped. I slipped off of her and softly patted her neck. "I'll be back." I whispered before looking up at the wall, scaling it with ease, slipping down the other side quickly so I wouldn't be seen. Once my feet were on the grass, I looked around, taking a deep breath before grappling into a tree. I wouldn't be long.

* * *

Krista shifted her weight from side-to-side, Ymir sitting beside her, listening to Armin talk. She, however, kept glancing to the door, hoping that Arabella would walk through, her peppy smile on her face as usual. But she wasn't. And Krista knew that wasn't going to happen. Something happened last night. She went to see Aria this morning and she wasn't in bed. Her room hadn't been touched. It was early morning, Titans were probably wandering around everywhere. She was probably in a lot of danger. Krista's hands gripped at each other before she stood. "I'll be back in a little bit." she smiled warmly at everyone before starting out the door and towards Captain Levi's room. Commander Erwin had taken leave for the first time in years, she had been told. And of course Arabella would do something stupid like this while he was gone...

Once at the door, she knocked quietly. "Come in." His voice made her blood run cold... What was she going to say? She took a deep breath. The truth... How else was she going to help her friend?  
"Captain?" Krista stepped in, swallowing roughly as she saluted him. He was at his desk, toying with a small golden chain. He glanced at her, waving a hand to put her at ease and she took another deep breath. "Sir, something has happened to Arabella." she started slowly, her hands trembling. He was going to be so angry.  
He fully turned towards her. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice dull, uncaring, but his eyes gave away his concern.

"Well... Sh-she left... Last night." she said softly.  
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Many cadets left late last night."  
Krista shook her head. "No, sir. She... Yesterday morning, I went to wake her up and when I did, she told me she was going back to her village outside of the wall." he stared at her, now confused. "Uhm... She said she would leave last night, and she did. But she said her home wasn't very far from the inner wall and that she would be back before sun up... I went to see her this morning, and she wasn't there... And she still hasn't returned." she looked to her feet. She should have said something yesterday... She felt sick.

He said nothing for a long time before standing. "Do you think she's still alive?" he asked and Krista nodded.  
"I believe so, yes." she whispered, looking up at him. He seemed to struggle for a moment before nodding and walking past her. "Sir?"  
"I'm going to send word to Erwin and gather a small group of those remaining here to attempt to find her." he said simply and Krista nodded, smiling slightly.

* * *

I clutched the small bible to my chest, my sides ached, I didn't know how long I had been laying in the pit. Jackson's blood was long dried. When I had looked into it, I had found the bible. When I flipped through it, I had blacked out. I had been awake for an hour, but I was so numb... I didn't want to move. Everything... Everything was so accurate... I just wanted to scream, but I said nothing. I didn't move. How could I go back? I hadn't finished the bible. But I knew what had been preached. I would end humanity with a small spark.

My hands clutched around the small book and I closed my eyes as words slipped into my mind.  
_"She will destroy her home on her eighth year."  
__"She will attempt to help humanity."  
__"She will earn her markings, which will fade-"  
_And that's where I stopped. I didn't want to finish that sentence. I knew what it said.

It spoke of another girl, one who could stop me. And I automatically thought of Krista. If she was an angel, I must be nothing more than a demon. I curled into myself more, wanting to throw up.

* * *

Levi stared at the cadets. There were only seven. Hange, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Krista, Ymir and Sasha. He had sent word to Erwin who quickly sent back an order to move forward with the excursion. With Eren there, and how short of a distance they were going from the wall, no one would bat an eye. But Levi had to admit, he had reservations. Why was Erwin alright with risking lives to find one girl? Why was _he_ alright with this. No one complained, though. They all agreed to go outside the wall to find Aria.

Once outside the wall, they would stay close to it until they found the path leading to the small village. Luckily it was surrounded by a forest, so if they were to run into any trouble, they could use their 3DMG.

He cursed Arabella, why had she done something so stupid? Why hadn't she told anyone besides Krista? Why did his heart stop for a moment when he thought about her getting hurt? She had told him that she wanted him out of her life as a friend, as anything other than her superior. But he still felt compelled to make sure she was alive. That she was safe. And right now, she wasn't.

* * *

I don't deserve this. What did I do to deserve all this pain? I looked at the book in my hands and looked up at the sky. "God." I whispered. "I don't really know if you hear me or not... But I don't understand... I never asked for this burden. I never wanted to hurt anyone... I never meant to." I whimpered as I felt a tear finally slip from my eye. "I want to help people." I mumbled before sitting up and staring at the book. I looked towards the wall and then towards the rest of Titan territory... Where do I go from here? Do I go back to the wall? Do I go back to the home I now knew? Back to the comfy relationships I had made, my friends, my comrades? And then possibly hurt them?

Or do I wander into Titan territory until I am eaten or die of starvation? I looked at the bible again before clutching it in my hand. No... This can't rule my life. I don't have to turn into this. I control my own life. If there was a god, why would he allow so many people to die for nothing? Why would he curse an innocent child because she was the third born with some unlucky pigmentation? I stood up, about to ease myself out of the sacraficial pit when I heard horses.

Oh shit... I was swinging my leg over the side of the pit, watching as Levi and a few cadets rode towards me. I carefully slipped myself to the ground. He looked angry, but also relieved. He turned to the cadets and said something before getting off of his horse and walking towards me. He looked so angry... Why did he even come after me? Why did he bring cadets after me.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snarled, his hand clasped around my cloak and actually lifted me onto the tips of my toes.

I stared at him for a second. "I had to come back." I whispered. "I know you're not going to understand." I said as I looked him over. "I'm not going to ask you to. And I'll take whatever punishment you have for me... But I had to come back." I looked him over and he grit his teeth.  
"Tch. Fucking idiot." he mumbled. "You're lucky you're still alive." he was glaring at me, but I said nothing, the bible slipped into my pocket.

I looked down. I was out of line. I was wrong. I was not sorry. I got my answers. I knew who I was supposed to be... And I knew who I had to fight so I wouldn't hurt anyone. Levi set me on the ground, his hand still firmly around my collar, dragging me towards his horse and practically throwing me onto the saddle, but I said nothing. He was angry. He had every right to be...

And I felt... oddly at peace. Even as we rode back to the wall, I found myself leaning back against Levi. I knew I was going to get it once we were inside the wall, and Krista shot me an apologetic look, but I smiled a little at her before looking forward. My had went over the little black book in my pocket and I bit my lip. I just pray the writings were nothing but a fluke. I never wanted to hurt anyone... I had hurt enough people...


	19. Chapter 19

I said nothing as the others watched Levi literally drag me down the hall. I heard Armin speak before being pulled around a corner. "Is she going to be alright?" I almost laughed. Maybe. But Levi was so upset right now...  
I hadn't said anything to him since he had thrown me on his horse. I was still numb, I still felt sick, and I my thoughts kept wavering. I should have just left when I had the chance, what if I hurt everyone? And then a moment later, I don't have to make this my future. I don't have to hurt anyone.  
I winced as Levi yanked me into his room, shoving my back against the wall so hard it knocked the wind out of me. His hands landed on both sides of my head as he stared at me. I looked up at him for a second, frowning a little.

"Are you really that idiotic?" he was glaring at me.  
I knew I should just apologize and hope for the best, but I wasn't about to do that. "I don't see what I did as idiotic, sir. I needed to find something out. And there are no laws about going outside the walls, you realize that? No one does go outside of the walls, but it's not illegal." I said softly.  
His eyes thinned. "You could have been killed."  
"But I wasn't." I really shouldn't be pushing him.  
He leaned closer to me and I turned my head, his breath hot on my cheek. "Look at me." I sighed, looking back to his face. "Do you really have such little regard for your own life that you would risk it like that?"

I stared at him. Really? That's what he decided to say. "Why do you think I joined the Survey Corps, sir? I wasn't thinking about myself when I scaled the walls. You heard what Hange said. What if what the village said about me was true? What if I'm the one who is supposed to end all of humanity? I needed to know. I needed to find out if I could stay here or if I needed to leave. I don't want to hurt anyone." I shook my head.  
He took a deep breath, as though trying to compose himself. "You could have been killed." he repeated.  
I looked up at him for a minute. That's what he was focusing on. I could have been killed. I nodded, looking down. "I know." I whispered. "I could have been." I mumbled, biting at my lip.

He moved his hand, pulling my lip from my teeth. "Levi." I started softly. That was the first time I had just called him by just his first name in over a week. "We risk our lives every time we go outside of the walls. Why was this time different?" I asked, looking up at him. My heart ached. I loved him, I get that now. But there was more fear now, than just getting hurt. I didn't want him to get hurt.  
"You were alone." he seemed like he had relaxed more now. "You had no one watching your back. Even I wouldn't go outside of the walls on my own. It's too dangerous." he looked at me and I nodded a little.  
"It was dumb of me, to go alone. And I'm sorry for that. But I won't apologize for going." I watched him as his arms relaxed, his hands never moving from the door.

I wanted to cry. I had realized so much while laying in the pit and even while traveling back inside the walls. I was a good person. Maybe the only reason the book was lining up with me was because the church had me so brainwashed that I was an awful person that I was really believing it. I wasn't bad. I was a good person. I cared about people. I loved myself. And I loved Levi, I hated myself for it, as confusing as that was... But I loved him.  
I looked up at him for a moment before reaching up and taking his wrist, moving his hand to my face. "I'm okay, Levi." I whispered as his thumb ran across my cheek bone. He said nothing as he looked at me.

"Something could have happened to you." it was barely a whisper, but I nodded a little before stepping towards him, wrapping my arms around him gently, holding him against me. He was obviously surprised, but his arms wrapped around me tightly. "Don't do that again. I don't care what crazy fucking idea pops into that insane head of yours. You can't do that ever again." I smiled into his chest, nodding a little.  
I looked up at him again, slightly struggling with my words, but he spoke again. "I'm sorry." he whispered, looking down at me. My eyes widened a little. "I fucked up, not as much as you just did. But I fucked up." he looked me over and I smiled just slightly. "I won't hurt you. I understand, now, that I wasn't right. You deserve more respect than that." he said and I nodded to agree with him.

He watched me, waiting for me to say anything. I took a deep breath, resting my head on his chest. "Okay." I mumbled. "I shouldn't be giving you another chance. I never believed in second chances... But okay. Just know, that if you pull shit like that again, I'll ask Commander Erwin to give me back to Hange and I will avoid you like the fucking plague." He nodded against my head, holding me firmly against him. "I thought you were going to beat the shit out of me." I laughed a little.  
His chest jumped, as though he was chuckling. "I thought about it." he said and I knew he wasn't lying.

I jumped as he turned us, walking towards the bed and sitting down, laying down with me on top of him. "You shouldn't be able to maneuver me around like that. It's terrifying." I laughed softly. He ran a hand through my hair.  
"You're staying here tonight. So I can make sure you don't do anything stupid again." I knew it was pointless to argue, so I simply rested my head on his chest and nodded a little. It felt great to be against him like this. His fingers ran through my hair and I closed my eyes. I knew he was still upset with me, but that didn't matter. He pinched my side softly and I looked up at him. "If you pull shit like that again, I'll allow Hange to do all the experiments that she wants on you, and then send you to the Military Police." I made a face and smiled, just slightly.

"That's evil." I whispered and he rolled his eyes, leaning down and pressing his lips against my own. I was still hesitant, but I returned the kiss, my heart leaping just slightly. I leaned away first, looking up at him for a minute before resting my cheek on his chest again. His hands moved to my hips, pausing at my pocket, feeling the small book. He looked at me before pulling it out. "My village's bible." I explained and he set it on his nightstand.  
"It was digging into me." he said simply as he wrapped his arms around me again. I smiled slightly, taking a deep breath.

* * *

I yawned as Krista hurried over to me. "Aria! Are you alright?" she asked and I nodded, my necklace dangling around my neck.  
"I'm okay. He wasn't too hard on me." I said with a small shrug. She smiled.  
"I'm so glad. I was worried about you." she said and I nodded.  
"I never meant to worry anyone... I just needed to know. And now I do..." I looked down at her. Short, blond, conceived out of wedlock? I didn't know the last one, but everything else lined up with her. She smiled at me before taking a deep breath.

"Ymir brought up going to the city in a couple of days. The 13th is your birthday, right?" I flinched, but nodded. "We'll have fun." she smiled at me, but I could tell that she had questions she wanted to ask. The curiosity burning in her eyes made me uncomfortable. But I couldn't tell her. I had reservations telling Hange, but that was for different reasons. "I'm very surprised that Captain Levi wasn't hard on you, what did he do?" she asked as she followed me to my stump.

I lit a cigarette and put it between my lips. "He got in my face. Like right here." I put my hand in front of my face, just a few inches away from my nose. "And screamed at me." I looked at Krista. "Then I sucked his dick and we were fine." I teased, mostly to see her blush, which she did. So cute and innocent. She looked at me, blushing like crazy. "I'm teasing you." I said with a small smile. I was happy, though. Happy that Levi didn't beat the shit out of me, happy that I had gotten answers, maybe not the ones I wanted, but at least I knew now, signs to be weary of, and I was happy that Levi had apologized to me. I was overly thrilled by that.

It made my heart want to sing, and I could only pray that he would stick true to his words.  
"You seem a lot happier, now." Krista said as I took a drag from my cigarette. I nodded at her, smiling softly. "I'm glad." she smiled warmly at me and I returned it, looking into the forest. "Did he apologize?" she asked.  
I had talked to Krista about it, knowing that she wouldn't tell anyone. "He did... I think we're okay now... But I'm not going head-over-ass into it." I said. I wanted Levi's affection. I wanted him to run his hands through my hair, I wanted him to hold me, I wanted _him_. But if he didn't want me, or respect me enough to keep from hurting me, then I didn't _need_ him.

Krista grinned at me. "I'm happy for you." she said and I smiled to her.  
"Thanks Krista." I said as I looked into the forest again.

* * *

Levi glanced up as his door opened. Aria walked in, yawning and stretching. He watched her as she sat down beside him on the bed. "Evening." she mumbled. She had already changed, into a grey shirt and white shorts. He leaned forward, grabbing her waist and pulling her down beside him, resting his head over her heart. Her hands moved to his hair, wrapping a strand around her fingers. He closed his eyes, listening to her heart until she sighed softly.  
"Levi?" she mumbled as she looked down at him. He glanced up at her. Her eyes scanned his face for a minute before she smiled at him. "I've missed you a lot." she finally said and Levi smiled just slightly.  
"Me too." he mumbled, and she rolled to her side, Levi shifting up towards the head of the bed, looking at Aria as she closed her eyes. He lifted a hand, pushing her hair back softly. Her left eye opened and she smiled softly to him. He cupped her face in his hand gently, closing his eyes. He felt her shift down, her arm wrapping around him as she snuggled under his chin. He moved his head carefully, kissing her temple softly, keeping his lips there for a moment before pulling back.

Aria was already asleep. He could tell by her soft snores. He opened his eyes slightly, watching her sleep until she mumbled something. He knew that she talked in her sleep. It was cute. She mumbled something else and he froze a little. "I love you." he watched her, but she was asleep.  
He smiled, just slightly and he closed his eyes, pulling Aria closer to him. "Me too." he mumbled into her hair.


	20. Chapter 20

I sat on my bed, hands folded in my lap as I looked out the window. It was my birthday. The day my brother had been murdered and the day I murdered my entire village. And it was also the day Krista and Ymir was supposed to make a happy day for me. They were getting dressed at the moment, I was already dressed, a simple white dress that Krista had given me, telling me it was cute for my birthday. It was simple, and I liked it, really. It buttoned down my bust with simple thick straps. I looked up as the door opened.  
"Levi?" I yawned as he walked over to me, tilting my chin up slightly.  
I smiled softly at him as he pecked my lips lightly. His private greeting for me. "Be careful in the city today." he said, tucking his hands into his pockets.  
"I will be. Krista and Ymir are going to be with me, and I'm all healed, so I'll be okay." I promised.  
He looked me over for a second, before taking my hands and pulling me up so I was standing. "Where did you get this?" he asked, tugging at the skirt of my dress.  
I looked down at it. "Krista gave it to me." I said, running my hands over it.

He nodded. "It looks nice." I smiled up at him.  
"Thank you." I said as he pushed my hair over my shoulder before leaning down. "Levi." I mumbled as he brushed his lips over my neck. "Stop that." I mumbled as he bit down, my hand went to his hair, my fingers curling around it as he pulled me against him. "Levi." I said again. "They're going to come and get me any second." I said as he pushed me backwards towards the door. I felt my back against it as his hand hiked the skirt up.  
"Then we'll just make sure they can't open the door." he said, lifting my legs and wrapping them around his waist.  
I looked at him for a second. "Quick?" I asked.  
He nodded a little. "I can do that." He said, his hands pushing my dress up. "Dress stays on." he said and I nodded a little as he bit into my neck, hard, making me gasp a little.

* * *

I groaned a little as I held onto Levi, burying my face into his neck. His nails were digging deeply into my hips, most likely leaving marks, but I didn't care, I leaned back, my head knocking against my door as I looked to Levi. "That was quick to you?" I asked and he shrugged a little. I rolled my eyes before leaning down and kissing him softly as he pulled out of me, making me wince just slightly. He chuckled against my lips until a few knocks landed on the door.  
"Aria!" Ymir's voice made me pull back and I sighed softly.  
"I'l be right out. Give me a minute!" I yelled back as Levi set me down, pulling my dress down and reaching up to smooth out my hair.

He was just buttoning his pants back when Ymir opened the door, me still working a tangle Levi had made out of my hair.  
I blushed a little. "You ready?" Ymir asked, completely ignoring Levi and I nodded a little, walking towards the door.  
"Bye." I squeaked to Levi before following my friends.

* * *

I groaned a little as I walked back to my room. My head was splitting, and I could barely hold all the gifts Ymir and Krista had got for me, much to my dismay. I really begged them not to. I didn't want all of these dresses! But they were cute, and they were my friends, so I had to. It was very kind. Today was just a rough day for me. The sun was already halfway down and I was ready to lay in bed and curl up and say fuck the world. I'm tired, to say the least. We all ate in the city (they finally let me pay for something) and with a full belly and too many clothes in my hands, I ended up falling into my room.

I sighed, ready to hit the floor when an arm wrapped around my waist, catching me. "Evening, Levi." I mumbled, burying my face into his upper arm as he helped me to my feet.  
He said nothing as he started picking up the boxes. I closed the door before unbuttoning my dress. "Ymir and Krista?" he asked and I nodded.  
"You can leave them, I can put them up in the morning." I said as I tossed the dress into my hamper, turning to grab a pair of shorts when arms wrapped around me from behind, Levi's hands in front of me, a box in them. "Hm?" I turned my head to look at him. He looked to my face as I smiled a little. "You didn't have to get me anything." I mumbled and I smiled a bit more as his lips brushed against my shoulder.

He placed the box in my hand before going to sort through the boxes and hang up the clothes, occasionally looking at a dress and then to me as I opened the box. I smiled softly. A bracelet, silver and little rubies. "Levi." I turned to him with a warm smile on my face. "You shouldn't have." I said as he hung up a dress.

"I can always take it back, brat." he said and I shook my head, lifting my foot and kicking the back of his knee playfully, watching him jerk slightly.  
"Thank you, Levi. It's beautiful." I said softly as I wrapped it around my wrist, struggling with the clasp for a moment before looking at it. "Thank you." I said again as he finished putting my new clothes away. I grinned as I picked up my shorts and pulled them on.

"I don't know why you're bothering. They're not going to stay on for long." Levi growled and I turned to him with a grin.  
"Maybe I like giving you a challenge." I said as I walked over to him. He rested a hand on my waist softly before wrapping his fingers around the waistband of my shorts and ripping them down. I frowned. "How romantic." I teased as he pushed me down onto my bed, crawling over me.

"I'm going to make sure the last part of your birthday is enjoyable." he purred in my ear as his hand ran down my stomach.

* * *

It was August now, my birthday had been four months ago, and now I stood in front of Erwin, in one of the dresses that Krista had gotten me. It was tight now, but I didn't really want to think about why it was as tight as it was. Hange was to my left, occasionally looking over at me and grinning. I just wanted to throw up. Not that that would be abnormal for me right now.

"Sir, Arabella needs to resign from the Survey Corps." Hange spoke for me.

There were only three ways you could respectably get out of the Survey Corps: You died. You were maimed. You were a woman with a confirmed pregnancy.

And I wasn't dead or maimed. But I _did _feel like throwing up all over Commander Smith's desk.

If that gives you your fucking answer.

* * *

**_BAM!_**

**_Awful chapter is awful!_**

**_I'm sorry it's so short. My munchkin is spoiled... It might be my fault for holding him a lot... But I hate hearing him cry. It BREAKS my heart... And I haven't been able to sleep properly since my son has been born. So..._**

**_I hope you like it! If not, I'm sorry! I really love and appreciate all of your reviews and favorites and follows! They warm my heart!  
_**


	21. Chapter 21

Silent. I was completely silent as Hange explained the circumstances to Erwin. I just stared down at my ever-growing stomach. It was hard for me. To think there was a child in my womb. Just the thought... I'm going to throw up. I put my hand over my mouth silently.

* * *

_"Are you alright?" I looked up at Levi as he pushed a strand of my hair back. _

_I had almost thrown up all over him. Yes, Levi. I'm perfect. But I smiled and nodded a little. He searched my face for a minute before leaning back. "We should stop."  
"No, really. Levi, I'm okay." I said and he shook his head.  
"You look like you have a cold. Why don't you get some rest, Arabella?" he asked and I lay back down, sighing a little before nodding. He leaned down, kissing my forehead softly before standing to get dressed. I grabbed his hand softly.  
"Levi?" I mumbled, looking up at him. "I love you." I said softly._

_He gave me a tiny smile. "I love you too, brat." he said as he pulled his shirt over his body._

* * *

_"Arabella?" Ymir actually sounded concerned as I kneeled down on the branch, holding my hand over my mouth. I nodded a little before standing.  
_

_"Yeah. I just... Got dizzy." I mumbled before taking off again, my 3DMG digging into my hips as I attempted to catch up to the others._

* * *

_Hange stared at me. "You've known longer than you're letting on... Why didn't you tell anyone? You could have seriously hurt yourself and your child." she was being stern for once and I just stared at my lap, trying to choke back tears that threatened to fall. _

_"I'm scared." I whimpered as she rested her hands on my shoulders.  
"Is it his?" I just nodded.  
_

* * *

"She has an Aunt inside Wall Sina that would be happy to take care of her." Hange said softly and Erwin nodded.

He turned to me finally. "Do you know whose it is?" he asked and I looked at my lap, nodding a little.  
He opened his mouth to speak again, but I got to it first. "I don't want him to know. I don't want anyone to know but Hange and Krista." I said softly. I mean, Erwin knew now. But that was necessary. You just prayed that was possible.

He stared at me, I knew he was, but I kept my eyes on my stomach. "Go pack your things. Hange will accompany you to Wall Sina." he said and I stood, Hange following me.  
"We'll need to be quick. Levi generally comes to wake you up when daylight hits. Come on."

Everything was just a blur. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to feel anything. But I did. I even felt the child squirming. Just a little, but enough to make me want to cry. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. But I knew I felt scared, sick and sad.  
It felt like it only took ten minutes to get packed and to Wall Sina. I looked down at Naya silently. We'd rode gently.

My Aunt was a good woman. But would she really want to care for me? I was cursed, and now pregnant with a bastard child... I shook my head. I couldn't think like that. I couldn't go back to the underground. Hange looked at me as we stopped inside the wall. She looked like she was going to cry. I slipped off Naya carefully and she got off her horse before hugging me tightly. "Take care of yourself!" she said, trying to hold in tears. I hugged her back until she let go and put a hand on my stomach. "And send word as soon as you have this precious angel!" she said and I smiled a little at her.

Angel... Huh. Maybe I'm cut out to be a mother. "I will." I said as she looked me over before climbing back onto her horse. I climbed onto mine and we went our separate ways. I took a deep breath as I weaved my way through the (somewhat) familiar streets until I was in front of my Aunt's house. I looked at the door silently until it opened, my cousin standing in front of me.  
"Aria?" And I lost it. I burst into a pile of tears at her feet.

* * *

"Shitty glasses." Levi said as Hange walked into Arabella's bedroom. It was empty. Completely. Hange went to turn and walk out when Levi grabbed her by her collar. "Where is Arabella?" he asked and Hange looked to her feet.

"I don't know... You'll have to ask Erwin." she mumbled, kicking at the floor. She was lying. That was obvious. But asking Erwin was probably the best option.

He let her go, pushing past her as he started towards Erwin's office. He didn't even knock. He busted in to see Krista standing in front of his desk, her body jumping with small sobs, what looked like a letter in her left hand. "Th-thank you sir." she saluted Erwin before taking a deep breath and walking out.  
What the fuck was going on? "Where is Arabella Duluth?" he asked and Erwin looked up at Levi, realization showing in his eyes for a fraction of a second before he quickly covered it up.

"She was relocated to the Military Police." he said and Levi visibly tensed.  
"Why?"  
"She will be able to serve better there." he said as though it was nothing.

It _wasn't_ nothing. Levi grit his teeth. He'd always trusted Erwin's judgment, but not on this. Emotions aside, Aria was a stand-out soldier. She was strong, and generally quick on her feet. "I don't agree." he said and Erwin looked to him.  
"It's not your decision." he said and Levi felt the anger boiling inside him. He never thought he would want to kill Erwin again. But he was close to that now.  
Levi glared at Erwin, debating on his options before turning and walking out. He felt like he was going to be sick. He'd seen awful things, been through terrible things, but having the one person he cared about ripped away from him was almost too much.

"Hange!" he snapped as he walked into Arabella's room, Hange was sitting on her bed, sniffling. He grabbed her shirt again, pulling her close to his face, glaring. "Why didn't you just tell me she was relocated to the Military Police?" she looked confused for a second. Erwin was lying. He shook his head. "Where is she really?" he snapped and Hange looked at him for a moment, taking a deep breath.  
"I can't tell you!" she finally said, looking like she was about to cry. "She doesn't want you to know! She doesn't want anyone to know but me, Erwin and Krista..." she said and Levi thought for a second... Krista...

He let Hange go and started out to find the blond. He was going to find out where the fuck Arabella was if it was the last thing he did.  
"Lenz!" he snapped, seeing her speaking to Ymir. She froze before turning and looking at him.  
"S-Sir?" she squeaked.

"Follow me." he said simply, starting towards his office. Once inside, he turned on her. "Give me that paper." he nodded to the letter she held in her hand still. He saw the handwriting. He knew who it was from.  
Krista looked at the letter. "Sir I-"  
"Now, Cadet." he snarrled. She looked at the paper, debating on her decisions for a moment.  
She shifted uncomfortably for a moment before slowly lifting her hand. And then she did something Levi never expected of the girl.

She tore the letter in half, then again, and again. "I'm sorry, sir!" she whimpered, probably knowing she was in for it. Levi snatched the pieces from her hands before knocking her feet from under her. She winced as she landed hard on her ass. He kicked her ribs. "Out!" he snapped, watching her scramble to her feet, salute him and hurry out of his office before he could change his mind. He looked at the pieces in his hand. He could piece this back together. It would take a little time, but he could do it.

He had to.

* * *

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_**I need to know if I should continue or not! Your reviews let me know if this is worth continuing or not!**_


	22. Chapter 22

I looked at my aunt as I peeled a few potatoes for dinner. Everyone was pissing me off. I hated everyone. Everyone but the baby kicking up a storm in my womb. I had finally accepted it. And I was getting pretty happy about the child. I laid at night a lot, thinking what he was going to look like. Hopefully like Levi.  
I shook my head a little.

It had been a month since I had left. I had corresponded with Hange, telling her all about the pregnancy. She wished that she could see me. See how big I was getting, but most of all, she was trying to convince me to tell her when I was in actual labor. She wanted to watch. And... I wasn't sure how I felt about that. But, I told her I would think about it. I had sent word to Erwin that I would appreciate if Krista could come see the child after I had him. And he was going to consider it. Besides, if Hange was right, my child should be born in the middle of the next leave.

"Arabella! You cut yourself!" I looked at my finger. It was just a little cut, not deep in the slightest.  
"I'm okay Aunt Lana!" I promised as she handed me a small bandage. I wrapped it around my finger silently as the child kicked me again. I smiled softly down at my stomach as a knock on the door shook me from my thoughts. "I'll get it." I said as I opened the door. It was a member of the Survey Corps. He handed me a letter before leaving and I almost threw up again. The name on the letter made my gut twist. And my little one wasn't helping.

_Levi._

* * *

It had taken a month. Between training and Hange and Erwin having him run around for no fucking reason. He had pieced that letter back together.

_Krista,_

_I want you to know that I'm very sorry I couldn't tell you in person. I have to leave. I'll be safe, so don't worry. Or... I should say **we** will be safe.  
I'm pregnant.  
Hange says about four months. I'm trusting you with this information because you're my friend. And before you ask... Yes. It's Captain Levi's...  
Please don't tell him. I don't want him to be angry. I don't want him to know and I don't want him to worry.  
I'm not going to tell you where I'm going, because I have a feeling that Levi will probably find this letter, and if he does, so be it. I'll be gone by then. But I will let you know when I have the child. I want you to come see him.  
I have a feeling it's a boy... But I won't know until he's born. _

_I'm going to miss you a lot! You and Ymir. Feel free to let her know. You both have become such good friends of mine. I'll miss you so dearly. Please be safe.  
I don't want to lose anyone else that I love._

_Your friend,_

_Aria._

_Also, Levi, if you found this, I'm very sorry...  
_

Levi leaned back in his chair, staring at the paper. He thought he was going to throw up. She was pregnant. And he was a fucking idiot. "Pregnant." he said, tasting the word on his tongue before gritting his teeth. He didn't know what to feel. He knew he wanted to see Aria. He wanted to talk to her. She hadn't even given him the chance to know...

He looked at his desk before picking up a piece of paper. He'd seen a member of the Survey Corps talking to Hange, taking letters from her and Krista and leaving HQ. He would be taking an extra letter with him tomorrow.

* * *

I sat on my bed, looking at the letter. I had excused myself from helping with dinner.  
I didn't know what to expect. How had he found out where I am? And why didn't he come himself? I opened the letter nervously, unfolding it.

_Aria,_

_Your friend is a ballsy little shit. She tore your letter to her up right in front of my face.  
But I pieced it back together and I read it.  
You're pregnant. With my child. I'm pissed. Pissed that you didn't give me the fucking chance to talk to you about it. I'm not angry at you for **being** pregnant. If I was going to be angry at anyone for that, I would have to be angry with myself. So get that out of your head, Brat.  
I've told you before. I love you. You're the first person in a long time that I have actually loved. Fuck, you might even be the first. And for you to leave like that without telling me, makes me fucking angry. _

_I don't know where you are. No one will tell me that. I've tried. Shitty Glasses and Commander Eyebrows haven't told me that yet. But I want to know. I want to come see you and **our** child. So, if you could stop being a stubborn little shit and let me know where you are, that would be great.  
I love you, Aria._

_Levi_

I stared at the letter. I didn't know how to take it. He was angry, but not because I'm pregnant. I rested my hand on my stomach, thinking for a minute. It didn't matter. Levi wouldn't fare well as a father. He hated getting dirty, and really? That's what children were. Shit, piss, drool, dirty little hands... He'd have an anxiety attack.

I set the paper down, taking a few breaths before standing to return to my Aunt. I was starving. And three people working on dinner meant that food would be done faster.

* * *

Another month, another letter.  
I looked at the letter in my hands, my jacket around my body, my stomach was getting so big. It was crazy. And everyone could feel him wiggling around now. I was actually happy now. I was excited. I wanted to hold him and keep him safe.

But, looking at the letter from Levi, I just groaned. I had never responded to him. I couldn't. He wouldn't enjoy parenthood, and that was soon to become my life. So, there wasn't a point in entertaining the notion.

_Aria,_

_I wish you weren't so damn stubborn. Hange's been telling me what you write to her. You can feel him move. Your family can feel him move. **I **want to feel him move. I want to see you. I need you back in my life, Aria. I'm close to storming all of Wall Sina to find you. Don't underestimate me.  
I don't think you really fucking understand what you're doing to me. It's killing me that I can't see you. I really fucking love you. And I don't know what you want me to do to show it. I thought I had showed you that I loved you. _

_You make me feel like I'm losing my fucking mind. I would never beg to see anyone. But **please** Arabella. Tell me where you are. I want to see you. Please..._

_Levi_

I felt a stab in my heart as I looked at his words. I shifted a little. What should I do? What should I do? I held my stomach softly. "What should I do?" I whispered to the feisty child.  
He kicked me and I laughed, tapping my stomach softly. "Do you want to meet your father?" I asked, as though he could answer me.

And he did. He kicked me. _**Hard.**__  
_

I took a deep breath before picking up a piece of paper. "Fine." I grumbled.

* * *

"Captain!" Levi looked up from the stump that he was sitting on, facing the forest. But when he saw the letter in his hand, he almost jumped up to take it.  
"Thank you, Cadet." he mumbled as he held it firmly at his side, walking to his office. The name on the front made his heart skip. She replied. She wrote back. He sat down in the office, quickly tearing open the letter. God, he felt like a hormone-ridden teenager.

_Levi,_

_First of all, I know Hange hasn't been telling you shit. She told me how my letters have been disappearing from her office.  
I want to see you, too, Levi. I love you. Very much. But I don't think you're ready to be a father. Do you realize how dirty babies are? Diapers, drooling, playing in dirt? Honestly...  
But... I was wrong. To make that decision for you. So fine. I'm not going to tell you where I am. _

_Tell me when you're going to come. I'll meet you at the gate.  
Please don't be upset with me, Levi. This is extremely terrifying for me.  
But, I love you very much. And I'm truly sorry... _

_Your Aria_

He stared at the words on the paper silently until he noticed the paper was wet in the center. How had that happened? Then another drop landed on the paper. He was crying.  
"Tch. Damn brat." he mumbled, shaking his head as he looked at the paper again, folding it and putting it away. He pulled a piece of paper over to him. In two days. Two days from today. So by the time she gets this, it will be the next day. At noon. He needed to give his soldiers a break anyway... He'd been pushing them pretty fucking hard.

He looked out his window at the stump in front of the forest, the smallest smile playing at his lips.

He was going to get to see her again.


	23. Chapter 23

"I want to come!" Levi looked at Hange who had Arabella's letter in her hand. She was actually pouting.

He stared at her for a moment, as though considering it. "No." he finally said as he opened his door, motioning her to leave.  
"Levi!" she begged. "Please! I haven't seen her! I want to see how big she is!" she looked at him, her eyes wide.  
"No." he said again, firmly. "I haven't seen her either." he said simply as he walked out, Hange hot on his heels.  
She groaned loudly. "You're being unfair!" she said, but he ignored her as he walked to his bedroom, closing and locking the door in her face. "She's my friend!"

Levi shook his head as he moved to his closet to change. No way was Hange following him. He hadn't seen Arabella in two months. He was going to see her. Alone.

* * *

"Why is Captain Levi here?" I heard as I tried to maneuver through the crowd.  
"He's smaller than I expected." I almost laughed as I stood on the tips of my toes. There he is!

And suddenly I felt like turning on heel and running all the way back to my Aunt's house. Too late. His eyes met mine and he started towards me, the crowd kind of separating for him.  
They'll move for him, but not a fucking pregnant woman? Rude. My heart was pounding as he stopped in front of me. Whispers went through the crowd as he looked me over. I suddenly felt embarrassed about my huge belly. I shifted a little until he started towards me.  
_'Retreat. Retreat, Duluth!'_

Because I could _totally_ outrun him right now.

But he shocked me. As soon as he was in front of me, he reached forward, grabbed my face gently, and pulled me to him, crushing his lips over mine, his arm wrapping so gently around my waist.  
What. He was never one for public displays of affection. I wanted to cry, but everything made me want to cry. I could tell how much he had missed me. From the way he held me to how little he cared about the whispers surrounding us.  
I slowly returned the kiss, resting my hands on his chest softly. After a moment, we pulled away and I looked up at him. "Hi." I breathed, smiling up at him gently.

"Arabella!" I looked behind him as Hange dismounted her horse and ran towards me. Levi turned around, puling me behind him and glaring sharply at Hange.  
"I told you not to come." he growled as Hange yanked him out of the way, dropping to her knees to feel my stomach.  
"It's so hard!" she said as she felt my stomach, pushing in and yelping as the child kicked her fingers. "Was that it?" she asked and I nodded, bushing like crazy.

I was a little uncomfortable with the looks the three of us were getting. "We should head to my aunt's house." I squeaked a little as Hange stood up, motioning for me to lead the way.

Hange followed a few strides behind me and Levi. And he kept looking over at my swollen middle. "What?" I finally asked, looking over to him.  
"It's just... Strange." he said and I shrugged a little.  
I had gotten used to seeing it. I had gotten used to the mood swings and the binge eating and then throwing up. Though I had thrown up a lot less. "Does it hurt?" he asked.  
Odd question. "A bit. Every now and then. He's pretty temperamental. If he's irritated, like when Hange pushed in on my stomach, he'll kick at my ribs pretty hard. And the added weight hurts my back and hips." I shrugged a little.  
He was silent for a moment as we turned down a small street. "I'm sorry." It was barely above a whisper. If I had taken a deep breath, I wouldn't have heard him.  
I looked him over before smiling, reaching over and grabbing his hand softly. "Don't be." I said with a grin. "It's not a bad thing, to me." It was at first... But now, I was excited to see my child.

Once we were at my Aunt's house, I ushered Hange to help my Aunt and cousin, hoping to talk privately with Levi. So we sat outside, me on a stump and him on a stool, as usual.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked after a while of silence.  
I turned to him and sighed. "I was scared of your reaction. I still am. I was scared you'd be angry at me. I was scared you'd reject us." I looked at my feet. Well... I tried to. I could see my toes!  
He was silent again. Damn I hated his silence. I never knew what was going through his head. "I'm not angry at you for being pregnant, idiot." he said, reaching up and tugging my hair. I could see he was conflicted, but still he spoke. "I love you." he said simply, his expression never changing as his eyes shifted to my stomach. "I... Don't know if I'm exactly father-material." I flinched, my hand subconsciously moving over my stomach. Of course. He was a rough guy. He didn't show emotions, and that's what children were. Balls of emotions. "But it kind of wounds my ego that you didn't even want to give me the chance."

I jumped as his hand rested on my stomach, the baby kicking against his hand, making him flinch slightly before running his thumb over my stomach. "I don't understand what you're trying to say." I said finally. I was more confused right now than when I had left.

"Tch. I'm saying give me a fucking chance. This is my fucking kid too." he said and I turned to him, wide-eyed.  
Had he really just said that? My heart fluttered a little, smiling a little. He had. He was serious. "If we keep talking the way we do, his first word is going to be fuck." I said, my voice breaking as I grinned at him, tears slipping from my eyes.  
He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against mine. "I'm going to be gone... A lot..." he looked into my eyes and I smiled sightly.  
"I can handle that." I mumbled as he rested his other hand on my stomach.

"It is hard. Why the fuck is it hard?" he asked, looking to my stomach. I laughed, making the baby squirm.  
"There's a baby in there. It has to be protected, Levi!" I said as he stared at my stomach as the baby moved even more.  
He seemed amazed. "It's weird." he said and I nodded.  
"He's kicking my insides, imagine what I feel like." I teased.

"Arabella! Levi!"  
"Why did you let Hange follow you?"


End file.
